The Arrangement
by SquickWrites
Summary: Rin Matsuoka takes one for the team. Like his family, the team. Like all of their employees, the team. Like, giving up on his long time love crush, the team. Except not really giving it up. Or, at least, that was the plan. ((Arranged marriage fic; Chiaki Nakamura is totally made up ahaha))
1. The Agreement

"You can't make me do this."

"No one is going to make you do anything."

"Okay, so this conversation is over."

"Rin." Nakamura sighed, walking over to the chair across from the youth. "We can't ignore this."

"You said that you weren't going to make me do this."

"I know I did but-"

"Then stop trying to convince me."

"Okay." Nakamura held his hands up in defeat as he collapsed back into his cushioned seat. "I lied to you. I am absolutely trying to make you do this."

"I already knew _that_." Rin seethed, folding his arms. "I don't want to, so I won't."

His adviser groaned, covering his eyes. "Rin, I'm so sorry, but you have to."

"No."

"If you have any intent to save this business-"

Rin turned to face his adviser. "When did saving the business become my job? Isn't that what my mother is supposed to be doing? This shouldn't be on me."

"I know that it _shouldn't_, but it _is_." Nakamura shook his head.

"You clearly can't understand what I'm saying." Rin leaned forward, staring at the very _distraught_ adviser. "I'm not going to throw half of my life away for some company that I don't have anything to do with."

"Seeing as you will be the next to run said company, yes, you do have something to do with it."

"Stop trying." Rin hissed, kicking his legs up over the armrest of his chair. "You aren't going to change my mind, sorry."

"And what do _you_ suggest we do about it Rin? Huh?"

"Well for one, we should probably have someone else next in line to run the business."

The adviser crossed his arms. "No, we can't do that. For one – you are the most qualified to do the job."

"Then pick the second most qualified."

"_And_, you know that your father specifically requested you to take over once you were of age."

"Maybe we should change that."

"Your _mother_," Nakamura rolled his eyes. "Would not even hear the beginning of that. She loved her husband too much."

"Well what about Gou?" Rin looked over to his adviser. "She's just as much his kid as I am."

Something in Rin's words rustled Nakamura's aura. "I will say again – your father picked you because you are the most qualified for the job. This is not just because you're his child."

"Then we can train her! Besides, won't it be easier through her? She's _got _a boyfriend."

"Oh, of course." Nakamura nodded eagerly. "Let's force her to skip through the beginnings of whatever relationship she has now, and push her into a marriage to someone who she isn't even sure she likes yet. That's a real plan!"

"In the place of me never having the chance to meet someone that I might like? It seems like a fair trade."

Nakamura shrugged. "Besides, even if we _did_ do something that terrible," He shot a nasty glare at Rin. "Again, the issue of her not inheriting the business. Not to mention, this marriage is meant to benefit _us_. The Mikoshiba family – while very pleasant – would not do us much good."

Rin groaned.

'Please – try to think of it as a business move."

"You can't convince me, Nakamura."

"I am trying very hard not to be _very_ angry with you right now."

"It's my life, so I will make my own choices."

"See, that's the thing!" Nakamura pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning. "It's not _just_ your life – there's a lot of people's lives we're dealing with."

"And theirs are more important than mine?"

"Are you suggesting that yours is more important than _theirs_?"

"Well, from the perspective of someone with my personality type-"

"That's just it, Rin. Nobody cares! I don't care about that at all! Why? Because it doesn't matter." Nakamura flipped his head back, tapping his fingers on the armrest. "I am trying very, very hard not to be very angry with you."

"You seem upset."

"You aren't even _listening_ to me."

"I'm kind of bored with this talk."

"You _physically_ do _not_ understand how serious this matter is."

Rin shrugged, staring at the ceiling. "I guess not. Maybe I'd care more if I did."

"That's it." Nakamura stood up, towering over Rin. He was trying his best to not look threatening, but he was very, very angry, and his dark hair and the bags under his eyes which were too prevalent for someone his age made him look less than endearing.

"Very scary." Rin feigned fear as he closed his eyes.

"Rin – Rin look at me."

He did not.

"Do you have to be so complicated all the damn time?"

"It's funny because I've always been like this – and you'd _still _marry me off to someone."

"Rin, I have let you off of so many things – look at me."

Rin did not.

Nakamura grabbed the collar of Rin's shirt, snatching his upper body upwards. "I have let you off of so many things - _look_ at me."

Rin finally opened his eyes, and he looked less than happy.

"But this is the one thing I will not let you be selfish about."

Rin wasn't really surprised about the _selfish_ thing. He knew he had his own characters faults. What kind of threw him off was that this was the _one thing_. What was that about?

"The one thing?" Rin asked, lowering his brows. "I'm not -"

"_Yes_, you are. You are excruciatingly self centered. I am so sorry that you have not realised it yet. But now? Now you've got to get over that." Nakamura released the younger boy, sighing as he backed away from him. "You've _got to,_ Rin."

"I don't think you get it." Rin tossed his legs again, finally facing his adviser head on. "Does it seem right in _your_ head to force me to marry a stranger? It's just not computing in mine, I guess."

"No, it doesn't seem _right_, but it's our best chance." Nakamura sagged a bit. "We're _all_ taking a leap of faith here, Rin. I'm sorry that we have to ask you to jump the furthest."

"It isn't _selfish_ of me to not want this!" Rin sneered. "I'm trying to help myself, okay? I'm not trying to ruin anyone else – I just don't want to ruin myself."

"I get it." Nakamura slouched back into his chair, staring into his lap. "But think about all the people -"

"But _why me_?"

"Because you are our only option!" Nakamura shouted. He paused, breathing for a second to gather himself. He closed his eyes. "I know you don't think you're being selfish, but consider the things you've said to me in just the last five minutes."

"What?" Rin narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"You _just_ don't want to ruin yourself?" Nakamura's nose twitched, as he kept his eyes nailed shut. "You'd rather your mother go against her morals, and completely ignore one of the last things she has left from your father? Instead of marrying someone – you'd throw your own sister's potential future under the bus to save your _own_ hide?"

"Don't make it sound so-"

"I am not making it _sound_ like anything. I am saying openly what you thought you had hidden." Nakamura leaned his face into his hands, finally exhausted. "You are a good guy, Rin, I know you are. But please think about who you're helping. Your mother, your sister, every single person who works for this company has someone to take care of."

"I know but -"

"Whatever choice you make when you leave this room will determine the future of every single one of them."

Rin remained silent, staring past Nakamura's head.

"I never said it would be easy." Nakamura finally looked up, sighing as he rested his elbows on his legs. "But this is the reality right now, and I absolutely cannot let you weasel your way out of it."

Not a word.

"Rin, I am so sorry." Nakamura shook his head, closing his eyes again. "But please, you have to listen, just this once."

"Chiaki." Rin eased the man's given name out of his mouth, leaning onto his elbow. "I know, okay, I get it."

"Come on, talk to me."

Rin pulled his legs up into the chair, crossing his arms as if to block out a chill. "Really? I just don't think I'm ready for this, alright? I don't know if I know how to make choices like this yet."

Nakamura groaned, mimicking Rin's posture. "You're so young, I know."

"I mean, really! Try to put yourself in my shoes here, right? I don't know what I'm doing." Rin suddenly began to emote, almost begging now. "I can't do this yet."

"Is that what you want me to tell them?"

He didn't mean it to be threatening, obviously. Nakamura really _hadn't_ been trying to force him into any certain path of thinking. But he needed an answer, and he needed it soon, and it essentially came down to what Rin wanted him to say. He would tell them whatever he wanted him to, but he had to know.

"You're supposed to be my adviser, aren't you?" Rin pouted. "Come on, advise me."

"Rin, I-"

"Just tell me what to do already!"

But Nakamura just shook his head, finally locking eyes with the boy. "You have to make your own decisions."

"But now you – you put all these things in my head." Rin ran a hand through his hair. "If I just worry about myself then-"

Nakamura stopped him there. "I don't want you to make choices without thinking about all of the factors." He finally bothered to smile. "I'm everyone's adviser, not just yours."

Rin leaned back, pulling his legs closer to his chest. "It'd be bad of me to just think about myself, right?"

And Nakamura laughed at the question. "Whatever choice you make, it's a double edged sword either way. You have to decide who's gonna take the blow."

"Yeah." Rin nodded, pausing for a second. At last, he nodded.

"What?"

Rin felt bad, because he could hardly bring himself to say it. He had come to the conclusion that agreeing was the right thing to do – but still, he couldn't agree with his own ideas.

Finally, he managed to whisper.

"I'll do it."


	2. The Reveal

"So what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to know?" Rin paced around the room, hands fiddling behind his back.

Nakamura shrugged, remaining seated. "I think it's best I don't tell you too much. You will psych yourself out."

Rin halted. "No I won't."

"You will." Nakamura shut him down, leaning back in his chair. "So don't worry."

"I'm not _worried_. I just want to know who I'm engaged to. Is that too much to ask?"

"Hey, look, they're a good family."

"Really, now?"

"Really."

Rin rolled his eyes, walking toward the french windows as he tried again to busy himself with pacing. "And you're sure of this why?"

"Because I've met them." Nakamura shifted in his chair to face Rin. "And also because they are willing to save your future company, with little to no compensation might I add."

"Huh." Rin turned to face Nakamura. "I guess I _am_ little to no compensation." He said that mostly as a joke, but kind of not.

"Not what I meant. Besides – they're giving up a child too."

"I guess."

The adviser huffed. "Try to lighten up a bit."

"I'm not nervous, I'm -" Rin huffed. "Anxious."

At that moment, his mother stormed into the room. She was a flurry of bright hair and business suit, high heel and concern.

"How's Rin-Rin holding out?" She half shouted into the room. "Is he okay?"

"He seems okay." Nakamura comforted her.

"_He_ is in the room." Rin shrugged.

Ms. Matsuoka flopped down into the chair that Nakamura had risen from. "I really hope everything goes well for him."

"I assure you, madam. Rin is going to put his best effort forward." The adviser smiled at his employer, then glared over his shoulder at Rin. "Isn't he?"

Rin glanced side to side, shocked that they were even addressing him. "I guess he will."

"Really, honey?" Ms. Matsuoka span around in her chair, looking to her son.

And, of course he would. He knew he would. But right then his mom just looked so weary, and worn down, and she was _known_ for her zealous personality and attitude – but in that second, she was tired. So he walked over to her, and kissed her on the forehead, smiling at her with an encouraging murmur of, "Absolutely."

He probably meant it. She seemed happy about it.

Her face lit up as she stood, reassuming the tough nature that she was known for. "Right! So! Your future spouse will be here in -" She paused, glancing at her watch. "A matter of seconds. Okay? Ready. Get ready. Where's Gou?"

"Here, mom." Gou Matsuoka responded to the call almost instantly as she descended the stairs across the room, adjusting the sleeve of her dress. "I'm ready."

"Good!" Ms. Matsuoka stood, instantly regaining the energy in her face as she leaned over and kissed her daughter's cheek. "We're ready."

"Perfect timing." Nakamura muttered. He had just checked his phone, and received a message that their guests had finally arrived. "I'll be greeting the family. Everyone stay put and," He hesitated, his face suddenly pleading. "Be on your best behavior. Please."

"When are we not?" The entire family asked in unison.

The adviser shook his head with a smile, exiting the room.

Gou huffed a breath out as he left, turning to pat her brother on the shoulder. "So, big bro, you're doing all this for a business?"

"Probably more for the family than the business." Rin shrugged, avoiding her eyes.

He could see her smiling at him from the corner of his eye. "Either way, that's pretty okay of you. Maybe even cool."

He was supposed to be a big, tough, stand-offish older brother. But what is better than your little sister calling you cool? Nothing. Nothing in the world. This moment had him half way certain that he'd made the right decision.

Rin shrugged her hand off of his shoulder, staring her down. "And people say chivalry is dead. Now," He grinned, lowering his head. "How's that boyfriend been treating you?"

"Please don't start this."

"I want regular updates."

"I don't really think it's your business."

"Why don't you want to talk about him?"

Gou rolled her eyes, pushing Rin's face away. "Because you'll pick at every single thing I say about him."

"Maybe, but-"

"Rin." Their mother's voice broke in in a slightly playful, yet warning tone. "Don't bully your little sister."

"Hey, mom. I'm just trying to enjoy my last few moments as a free man." He shrugged, glancing at his mother.

"Try not to sound so excited." Sarcasm.

"I'm overflowing with joy." He inherited the sarcasm.

"You sound a little bitter." Gou chimed in.

Ms. Matsuoka shook her head. "You can't be bitter on your engagement day."

"Is that what's happening today? We're becoming an official thing today?" Rin asked, because he actually had no idea what was supposed to happen.

His mother stared at him. "I don't know. I think so."

"You don't know?"

"No?"

"WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?"

Gou shrugged, leaning into the conversation. "In all fairness, Rin, you don't know either. It's not _mom's_ wedding."

"Th-that's because-" Rin's words wandered off. Maybe if he had asked more questions, he'd have more answers. He kinda just said 'yes' to this whole thing, and then ignored his issues in hopes that they would go away for the last few days. "Whatever."

Ms. Matsuoka laughed at her son. "You'll be fine, kid."

"It doesn't matter." Rin groaned, muttering one last thing as he shifted away from his family. "I just hope she's cute."

For a split second, Rin's mother and sister glanced at each other. Gou looked genuinely concerned. Ms. Matsuoka felt a hint of pity, but was mostly laughing. Oh man. Ohhh man. He wasn't ready.

"Super cute." Ms. Matsuoka pitched him that, biting her lip to keep her laughter inside as Gou glared at her scornfully. 'Don't entertain this' was sailing across the young girl's face, but the damage was done. Rin looked to satisfied as he adjusted his tie.

Before Gou could even attempt to salvage her brother, the door swung open. Nakamura stepped into the room, moving aside as he introduced the family entering behind him.

A man with black hair and a straight back and piercing blue eyes shuffled into the room, followed closely by a lady who looked much younger, and had a brighter air about her with her shining silver hair. The man had a face that was straight as well, but round and soft enough that he didn't seem intimidating. The woman's face was angular, giving a wise perception, but her smile eased the blow of her smarts.

"Karin." The woman was the first to speak, releasing a long breath. "It's so nice to see you."

Ms. Matsuoka laughed, and Gou smild. This seemed to be going okay. Rin felt like things were pretty okay. His mother and that lady were on a first name basis. It was all good.

Nakamura grinned, gesturing to the couple at the door. "The Nitori family."

Okay awesome. Rin was doing pretty okay so far. How bad could it be, anyway? They seemed like a swell family. He donned a smile, nodding to the couple as they moved into the room. Things were all clear so far. He just needed his future wife to be half as pleasant as her parents seemed, and then he could bear to be around her. He didn't have to be in love with her, after all. Just tolerate her-

As Mr. Nitori shook Ms. Matsuoka's hand, his wife turned back to the door. "Ai! Come on in! Don't be shy."  
_  
Ai is a cute name_. Was the first thought across Rin's mind. This could work out. His smile grew a bit larger as he shook his future in-laws' hands. He quickly turned his eyes to the door, staring intently.

Finally, he figure emerged. The first thing Rin saw was the silver hair, and the blue eyes. This kid was the product of her parents, definitely. Her hair was cut pretty short, but that was the 'in' style anyway, and she-

Boy. Definitely boy. This is not a drill. Boy.


	3. The Excuse(s)

Very small boy. Just staring at his face, he could easily be mistaken for a girl. Totally. Easily. But when Rin bothered to look away from his eyes, there was absolutely no confusion whatsoever. Boy. One hundred percent male. He couldn't – he wasn't – this couldn't -

He looked over to his mother, but she was locked in conversation with the parents. The boy's parents. The _boy's_ parents. Oh god. Oh _god._ He should have asked way more questions.

It was Gou Matsuoka to the rescue. She could see her brother's face begin to fall, and in the millisecond between Rin's smile converting into a frown, she latched onto his arm, giggling as she span him away from the door. She said something along the lines of 'don't be so nervous' or some other filler statement, and said it very loudly to prove to the entire room that she was having a _normal _conversation with her _nervous_ brother. She shot a look at Nakamura from the corner of her eye, holding the smile as her eyes begged for cover. The adviser immediately initiated a conversation with Ai Nitori. Gou pulled her brother slightly to the side.

"Okay Rin, let's stay calm." She whispered to her brother.

Rin was kind of paralyzed. "Calm?"

"_Yes_, calm." Gou shrugged, gripping her brother's arm. "It's okay."

"It's a _boy_." He hissed.

"And that's okay!"

"It is _not_ okay."

Gou groaned. "Why not?"

"I was expecting – I - " Rin shook his head, trying to clear the haze from his mind. "I was expecting a cute girl."

"And you got a cute boy instead!"

"No." Rin snapped his eyes shut. "No, you don't get it."

"It shouldn't matter that he's a boy!"

"You don't understand, Gou."

"Come on, Rin!" Gou shook his arm. "Don't be that guy! So what if he's a boy? It doesn't change his personality – and he's very sweet!"

"You _knew_ about this." Rin kept his eyes glued. "You knew."

Gou held strong, but her voice crept back a bit. "I was _going_ to tell you, but they showed up before I... I couldn't..."

"I can't do this."

"But you said you would!"

"I- I know! I know." Rin finally opened his eyes, looking down at his sister. "I need a minute. A really, really long minute."

"Rin, you can't just-"

"Gou, please." And something in his face was pleading a bit. "I just need some time. Can you buy me some?"

Gou puffed her cheeks out with a huff. "Of course I _can_. But I'm trusting you, Rin. I expect you to come back."

"I wouldn't just ditch you."

Gou smiled somewhat glumly. "I want that one in writing."

"_Gou_."

"I know, I get it." She squeezed his arm. "But please Rin, keep your head on. It's not that big of a deal, even if he's a guy. He's so nice, Rin, I mean it."

"It's not that..." Rin paused. "It's not because he's a guy."

Gou's eyes widened in disbelief. "It's not?"

Rin groaned, rolling his eyes. "I mean, yes, it is because he's a guy, but it's an issue for a different reason."

His sister shook her head. "No – I don't get it. But I don't really need to. Come on."

"Huh?" Rin looked confused as Gou began to drag him away.

She turned to the group that had formed at the center of the room, pulling him toward the stairs. "We'll be right back, everyone!" She shouted with a smile, pulling her brother up the steps.

"Uh, yeah." Rin added dumbly. "We'll be back."

Their mother looked faintly concerned, but it was the both of them and they were already half way up the stairs, so there wasn't much she could do at that point. She had guests to entertain.

Once at the top of the steps, Gou finally freed Rin's arm, pointing at him menacingly. "I can earn you five off the bat. Then I'll head down and tide them over. That can work for ten minutes, max. You've got fifteen total. Make it happen." She said, before flipping her hair, sailing down the hall, and slipping into a side room.

Rin so could have gone for a run right then. It would have felt good to just kind of get it all off with a quick jog around town. But he had fifteen minutes and a phone call to make, so he slipped into a room of his own choosing, and seated himself at a desk, skimming through his contacts for a certain number.

"Rin?"

"Hey, Haru."

"Hi."

"I got some stuff messed up."

"What are you talking about?"

"Try – uh, try not to say anything for a while, okay?"

"..."

"You still there?"

"...Yes?"

"Right, okay, so you know how I'm getting engaged today, right?"

There was some uncomfortable shuffling on Haru's end. He totally did not know that. Rin hadn't bothered to tell anyone about this.

"Yeah, of course you didn't. Well, I'm doing that. I was expecting things to go pretty okay at best – it'd just be to help out the company for a few more years. Like, I'd be okay as long as she was okay."

Rin hesitated, imagining somewhere in the back of his mind that he could hear Haru nod.

"But then, it turned out that my soon to be fiance is a guy. A dude. He looks kind of like a kid, really."

Haru cleared his throat.

"Right. Exactly. I need your help."

Why did he need Haru's help?

"I don't really need your help, I just needed to talk to you about it, first."

"..."

"...Haru?"

"..."

"You're still there right?"

"Does this mean I can talk again?"

Rin heaved out a breath. "Yes. You can talk. I just need to know how you feel about all this."

"Why does it matter how I feel?" Rin heard Haru's chair scrape away from his desk. "It's not my wedding."

"Because – Uh." Rin didn't really have an exact reason (or, not an exact reason that he could exactly _say_), but he really felt like Haru's opinion mattered here. "I need your advice. Should I care about this sort of thing? Should I even go through with the engagement?"

Haru paused for a second, his footsteps echoing into the phone he held in his hand as he paced. "I don't think it matters – especially not if you already said you'd marry the guy. Then you agreed without knowing what he was like at all, so you shouldn't have had an opinion of him at all that _could_ be changed."

"Yeah, but -"

"You should go through with the engagement because you're doing it to help your family and business right?"

"I guess I am." Rin was also kind of doing it to prove to himself that he wasn't as selfish as he thought he was. Seeing as he was considering taking everything back so easily, though, he was doubting his own point.

"Then it's just a business move, that's all." Haru's pacing ceased. "It doesn't need to be so personal."

"...So you don't think there's anything personal about this?"

"There _could_ be." Rin listened as Haru sat, his bed creaking loudly. "If you actually end up liking him then-"

"That won't happen."

Haru paused for a moment at Rin's snap. "Then it's business."

Rin stayed quiet, somewhat hoping that Haru would say something more, but after a few seconds of silence, it was clear that he had said all wanted to. He listened as Gou skipped down the stairs. He sighed, nodding slowly. "Right."

"You're alright?"

"I'm fine."

"...Well, okay."

"See you, Haru."

"Goodbye, Rin."

Haru hung up first. Rin still had the phone glued to his ear. With another sigh, he finally shoved the device back into his pocket, rising from the desk chair. To be honest, he wished Haru had cared more.

"Yeah. Business." He clung to those words as he opened the door, and descended into the room below.


	4. The Attempt

"There he is!" Ms. Matusoka cheered as her son finally entered the room. "Nice of you to join us, son."

Rin plastered on a smile. "I really needed to take a call."

Mr. Nitori chuckled gruffly. "He sounds like a businessman already."

The man's wife stretched her face into a warm smile. "His father was very sure about him taking the company on; I feel like I see the reasons why more and more each day."

Okay, one, how did she know his dad? And, two, what did she mean each day? He'd never even met these people before. Why did it feel like everyone knew everything about everything _except him_?

"That's very kind of you to say, Mrs. Nitori." He accepted the compliment as best he could without letting his skepticism leak into his voice.

Ms. Matsuoka folded her hands behind her back, purposely walking into her son. "Well, now that _we_ are all familiar, we should probably..." She trailed off, looking to the Nitori family.

"Right!" Mrs. Nitori clapped her hands with a smile. "Rin! Please – I'd love for you to meet our son, Aiichirou."

It wasn't like Rin had been completely unaware of the kid. He kept note of everywhere he went in the room. He had looked at the view through the long windows, and inspected every piece of art. He seemed to enjoy making conversation with Gou, and every now and then a light giggle lilted from his mouth and landed on Rin's ears. When he heard his mother call out to him, he passed another smile to Rin's younger sister before approaching the group that had formed at the center of the room. Gou circled around the crowd, leaning to whisper in her mother's ear.

"Ai," His mother placed a hand on his shoulder, her hand gesturing towards Rin. "I would like for you to finally meet Rin Matsuoka!"

"Hello." The boy gave a slight bow, not looking Rin in the eyes. It was so strange because he, he had practically deadpanned the greeting. Less than a minute ago, he was smiling and laughing with Gou. Now he had his mouth uncomfortably turned up at the corners, and wouldn't look at him. "It's nice to meet you."

Rin was stunned. What just happened. He was taking too long to respond. "It's nice to meet you as well."

"I think!" Ms. Matusoka shouted, wrapping an arm around Mrs. Nitori. "We should leave these two to get to know each other a little better. Don't you agree?"

"That sounds fine to me." Mrs. Nitori replied, trying to read Ms. Matsuoka's face as she continued. "Come on, dear. I think Karin told me about a new installment in the house-"

"Oh! Right! I never did get to show you that." Ms. Matsuoka's face lit up as her companion caught on sraight away. "Please – allow me."

Ms. Matusoka began ushering the couple to the door, and it swung open just before she turned the knob herself. Nakamura stood there, holding a tray and a confused expression.

"I brought tea." He said.

"Oh!" Ms. Matsuoka quickly recovered. "We're showing the Nitoris the new installment we added to the house. Come along with us, Chiaki, come on."

Nakamura had been advising that woman too long not to know when she had her own agenda. "Of course." He nodded, turning sharply. "No problem."

Ms. Matsuoka allowed the couple out before her, then turned and winked to Gou before she slammed the door shut.

Gou poked her brother's shoulder, standing on her toes to whisper to him, "You better be nice." Then she turned to face Aiichirou with a smile, calling out a "See you later, Ai!" as she skipped up the stairs.

They were alone. Totally alone. Rin was alone with the person he was going to marry. This kid – he was a kid, right? He wasn't just a really short person who was actually older than him, right? _He_ wasn't the younger one in this relationship, _RIGHT_? Oh god. He never considered it. Oh man. There were so many factors that he just didn't consider -

"So, how are you, uh..." Aiichirou tried his best to make conversation. A dilemma appeared immediately. They were technically engaged. Didn't that kind of automatically put them on a first name basis? But they were still strangers, so, maybe they shouldn't... But he _did_ refer to Gou as _Kou_ so... right? So? _SO?_

It was an actual miracle that Rin was still playing it cool. "Call me whatever you want."

"Senpai, then." The boy said near instantly. "Matsuoka-senpai."

And that kind of sent everything crashing for Rin, because now he couldn't exactly just waltz around calling him _Aiichirou_, so, no, they were not on a first name basis, even though they were supposed to be getting married.

"Yeah." Was all he could muster.

Aiichirou quickly realised that he would be the conversationalist. Yes, he was nervous, but he wasn't going to sit in the room with this guy and just not say anything. He was going to get whatever he could out of him.

"So, how has your day been?" He tried.

Rin didn't look at him as he took a seat in one of the couches lining the back wall of the room. "Pretty uneventful, so far."

Wait, oh god. That meant that he was calling Nitori uneventful. That was not the intention. Abort mission, abort, abort-

_So I guess I'm pretty uneventful, huh_. The exact thought was crossing Aiichirou's mind. "Things have been going fairly well for me. It really is nice to finally meet you!" He kept pushing, turning to where Rin had seated himself.

"That's great." Rin said. That was too straightforward. No emotion. He was screwing up all over the place.

Aiichirou stared at his fiance. Wow. Really? No. There had to be more to him. There absolutely had to be. No part of Aiichirou was willing to believe that this guy was so... flat. He was a Matsuoka after all. He couldn't just be the one member of the family who was completely devoid of personality.

"Matsuoka-senpai." Aiichirou blinked slowly, taking a long breath. He had to keep going.

"What?" That was too snappy. He should have said 'yes'. They weren't at that level of comfort yet.

Aiichirou opened his eyes, taking deliberate steps towards the couch before plopping down, right next to Rin. He stared the older boy in the eyes with his own sparkling (icy?) blue ones, and smiled a smile that held the same wisdom that was spread across his mother's face.

"What's your favourite colour?"


	5. The Dilemma

"R-red?"

It sounded like a question. He sounded nervous. Wait, was he... _he was nervous_.

Nitori grinned. "That doesn't surprise me." He leaned his elbows onto his knees. "Okay! What about music? What do you like to listen to?"

He couldn't recover in time. He was still a stuttering mess. "Uh -I... Anything, really? I don't care... I... It doesn't matter."

The smaller boy nodded, staring across the room at a painting of a flower vase. "I get it. So... what do you do for fun?"

"What?" Rin muttered.

Nitori raised a brow, facing Rin again. "Hobbies and stuff, you know?"

"I – yeah – I know." Rin shook his head finally emerging from the daze that he'd been in. "I'm... I gotta go."

Nitori's head perked, surprised. "I – oh. Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Rin was shocked. Oh god. Oh _god_. That was so sweet. He didn't even bother to ask why he was leaving. He just figured that it was something important, and accepted it. That was actually really sweet and kind of cute. Oh no.

"I'm going to make another call. I am sorry." He deserved an explanation, right?

"No, it's fine!" Nitori assured him with a smile. "I'll be... here."

"It'll only be maybe a minute."

"Really, it's fine."

"You're okay?"

"I am."

Rin stood, backing towards the stairs. "You're alright?"

"Completely." Nitori added, nodding.

"Okay." Rin was halfway up the stairs before he turned to face his destination. Then looked back over his shoulder at Nitori. "O_kay_."

The younger boy laughed. "Okay."

Rin finally made it to the top of the stairs, staring straight ahead. For a few seconds, he remained silent, unmoving. Then he ran at top speed, sweeping into the room that he'd been in before as he instantly pulled his phone from his pocket, already opening his most recent calls.

"Haru?" Rin gasped into the phone.

"You sound distraught." Haru spoke flatly.

"This is bad." Rin shook his head, collapsing onto the chair. "This is so bad."

"What? Is he terrible?"

Rin groaned. "I wish."

"Hm?"

"He's so pleasant." Rin pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what to do about it."

"Already in love with him, huh?"

"_No_." Rin snapped. "No. It'll probably get on my nerves."

Haru sighed. "You need to learn to be thankful for the gifts you get in life."

"It just – I feel like things are more complicated this way."

"God forbid someone is nice to Rin Matsuoka." He paused. "Especially not his fiance."

"You don't get it."

"No, I get it. I just don't know why it's such a big deal. Why you're so determined not to like him."

Rin hesitated. "It's kind of – it's a personal thing, I guess." He shook his head. "Thanks for understanding, though."

"I understand. Are you fine now?"

"Better."

"Good."

"I'm going to go try again."

"Best of luck, Rin."

Again, Haru was the one to hang up. Again, Rin still had the phone at his ear. And again, he wished that something more had been said.

_Why you're so determined not to like him_.

It was mostly because he was just about in love with Haru. They had been friends for a very long time, and it was dumb things like the fact that Haru could understand him without needing lengthy explanations or in depth conversations. He basically had every detail about Rin pinned down, and he probably didn't even know it. And there was something so weirdly enticing about that. The idea that someone could figure him out down to the simplest level, and had no idea of just how capable he was.

If the Nitori kid had been a girl, it wouldn't have been an issue. He could play it off as, 'well, actually, I'm into guys. So there's no chance that I like her'. But that had been single handedly demolished by his gender. Now he couldn't really use that excuse. He was about to marry another guy. Which was, kind of, what he had wanted all along. But another guy. Not that one.

LIKE, NOT THAT HE HAD PLANS TO MARRY HARU. THAT WOULD BE WEIRD. But like, _like_, no he'd never, even, uh, considered that! No way. Not like domestic life with Haru was something that he had ever imagined. On a daily basis. No way. Any non-platonic relationship was probably a better place to start.

Pfft, marriage? Like, what? Get out of town. _No _way.

It's just that, hypothetically, if Haru were the jealous type, or were actually inclined to be jealous about anything Rin did, then Rin could just remind him that he couldn't be attracted to some girl. But, on the off chance that Haru _did _get jealous (This wouldn't happen, and he knew it. He was just being hopeful.), _now_ he couldn't play that card. So yes, the fact that Nitori was a guy was exactly the issue – just in a totally different way than Gou thought it was.

Shit. Nitori. He left him downstairs. Shit. SHIT.

Rin went barrelling down the steps at light speed, nearly crashing as he came to a stop. Nitori was just where he had left him, staring out of the large window behind him onto the busy city street. He had actually stayed there the whole time. Oh no. He was too nice. How could he let him down gently -

Right. He couldn't. They were already engaged.

The smaller boy looked up to him with a smile that could induce diabetes in an instant. "Senpai! I hope your phone call went well!"

"...Was fine." Rin grumbled. Why was he grumbling? Why did he literally not know how to be pleasant?

"Oh? Good." Nitori stood, clasping his hands behind his back. "I- I have to say though!" He bowed a deep bow, gluing his eyes shut. "I'm a bit sorry!"

"Huh?" Rin was literally shocked. No. _He_ was the sorry one. You did nothing but be an angel, and he was already (theoretically) cheating on you upstairs. Why were you _sorry_-

Nitori laughed awkwardly, head still bowed. "I might have been a little annoying – I can be – sometimes I'm a little pushy." He looked up. "People call me out for it a lot. I'm sorry if I did anything to make you feel uncomfortable."

What? No! You didn't do anything to make him uncomfortable. You did exactly what you had to do to actually get him to _speak_, man. You did the perfect thing. You did nothing wrong.

"...It's fine."

BUT IF YOU SAY THAT THEN HE'S CERTAIN HE DID SOMETHING WRONG!

_I guess I really did do the wrong thing_, Nitori thought absently, finally rising from his bow. "I understand. It's something I've been needing to work on for a long while – I'll do better, I promise."

THAT'S SO CUTE

"So, let's – uh..." Nitori thrust his hand out in Rin's direction. "Let's try to get along, okay?"

OH MY GOD

"Yeah, whatever." Rin nodded, accepting the hand that had been stretched towards him. He literally can't do anything right. Why is he like this.


	6. The Sister

Rin one hundred percent regretted letting Nitori think that he was annoying. As it would happen, the boy was just as willing to comply with silence as he was with pestering him with questions. So, as a result, Rin found himself seated on one end of the couch, with his fiance on the other, saying _nothing_ to each other. Every now and then Nitori would glance over at him, then immediately turn back to whatever he was eying across the room. Rin was playing on his phone. He was not texting anyone, or playing any game, just fiddling around with it to look busy. Because he _knew_ he was wrong to shut Nitori down like that, seeing as he literally had _nothing_ better to do.

Gou noticed the silence immediately, so, immediately, she came bounding down the stairs. She had the entire situation analysed before either of the boys even had time to look up. Gou Matsuoka ran over to her brother, slapped his wrist, and stole his phone.

"YOU AREN'T EVEN TEXTING ANYONE."

Rin's jaw dropped. Oh my god. Oh my _god_, Gou. He thought you were on his side. You can't just – you can't just _reveal_ something like that, how can you-

Rin wasn't even completely aware of it himself, but somewhere in the back of his head, he was mostly embarrassed because it had all happened in front of Nitori. He was trying to be _cool_, and his _little sister_ had single handedly destroyed all of his attempts.

Everything worked out, though, when Nitori started laughing. It wasn't a, like, full throttle laugh, but he was covering his mouth and his eyes were glued shut, because it had come out harder than expected. Rin would act like he didn't care, but he was actually happy that he'd finally given the kid a reason to smile about something.

"Give it _back_, Gou." Rin uttered through gritted teeth. Was Nitori laughing at him or what? Please or what, _please_ or what.

Gou shook her head, giving the phone back. "That's so rude of you. Please refrain from ever doing that again."

Nitori lifted his hand slightly, trying to get their attention as he recovered from his laughing fit. "No! It's fine, really. I do the same thing sometimes – I think everyone does!"

"Well, yeah, but -" Gou tried to keep the blame pinned to her brother, but Nitori stopped her.

"Honestly, I don't think we even know what to say to each other."

Rin was absolutely shocked because this absolutely wasn't true. Nitori knew _exactly_ what to say, seemingly at all times. And yet there he was, playing the part of an anti-social fool, when he had been the light of the room just five minutes ago. It was like, if Rin was going to go under the bus, Nitori would follow right behind him.

"D-don't," Holy shit. Rin Matsuoka thought, because now was the opportune time to turn back, and push Nitori – keep him out of the bus' path, and sacrifice himself. But he was stuttering. He was not cool, he was stuttering. Fuck.

"Don't let me dictate the conversation!" Rin finally shouted, looking somewhere across the room at absolutely no one and absolutely no thing. "I don't – I... I'm probably no good at that kind of thing."

Gou gasped. Horror. Nitori just stared, putting one hand back to his mouth. Gou was the first to speak.

"Oh my god." She grabbed his hands. "Oh my god! You never told me you knew how to be this cute!"

"_What?_" Rin growled, looking her dead in the eye.

"Goodness." Nitori breathed out. Rin looked at Nitori. He was staring. Just staring with those big stupid blue eyes. He couldn't see his mouth he couldn't read his expression was he -

Nitori removed his hand, revealing a smile as he began to laugh _again_. "I thought you were scary."

"You _what_?"

"I did too!" Gou switched her attention to her soon to be brother in law. "And then he just!"

"I didn't do _anything_."

By this point, Nitori was kind of just muttering aloud, piecing his thoughts together in the air. "I wonder what it would be like if senpai ever smiled."

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE."

Gou shot over to Nitori, sitting on the couch between the two boys as she gripped his arm. "I've seen it! Only a few times – but I've seen it!"

"I bet it's a really nice sight."

"I AM IN THE ROOM."

"It's the _BEST_!" Gou squealed. "You'll see it one day! I promise!"

"I hope so."

"I am not comfortable with this conversation."

"And?" Gou quickly retorted.

Nitori mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" The two siblings asked simultaneously.

Nitori stuffed his tongue into his cheek, looked them both in the eyes, then looked away very innocently. "You _did _tell me not to let you dictate conversations."

Rin's jaw dropped. What? He didn't see that coming. What? _Sass_? How many sides did this kid _have_ -

"Marry him." Gou looked up to her brother, then back at Nitori who was still kind of smiling all self assured, and looking everywhere but at either of them. "Marry him now."

"That's already the plan, Kou." Nitori grinned.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do it sooner."

"Gou, I hardly even know him." Rin complained.

"Yes but now we officially know that he is perfect, so what are we waiting for?"

Nitori patted Gou's shoulder. "It – It's probably best that we don't rush this sort of thing."

"I'd marry you." Gou sighed wistfully.

Rin loomed over her, then. "Sorry. But he's already engaged." Wait that probably sounded possessive. He totally didn't mean it like that. Fix it, _fix it_ - "And you _have_ a boyfriend."

Gou Matsuoka would be able to pick up on her brother being possessive, even if he was across an ocean fawning over the last potato chip. She did not miss that. She chose not to embarrass him again.

"Oh, yeah!" Nitori smiled at his sister. "He seems so nice. I wouldn't mind meeting him one day."

"He _knows_ about the boyfriend?" Rin asked.

"Yes."

"But _I_ don't even know about the boyfriend yet!" He was kind of whining now.

"Sorry."

He groaned leaning back on the couch as he covered his eyes. "How do you two even _know_ each other this well?"

"We're family friends." Nitori replied, tilting his head to the side. "Our entire families know each other. They have for a while."

"What?" Rin looked up quickly. "Then why don't I know any of you?"

Gou glanced over her shoulder at him. "You perfected the art of avoiding social situations that you didn't want to go to at age seven, that's why."

Rin blinked slowly. "So the whole time, I was kind of -"

"Completely avoiding me?" Nitori nodded. "Yes. Absolutely."

"Should I be sorry about that?" Rin asked.

"Of course not!" The smaller boy grinned, crossing his legs on the couch. "You didn't know – and now there's nothing we can do about it, really."

"Except!" Gou quickly added. "Get to know each other now."

"Which, I think, is actually going very well so far." Nitori tried to assure her.

"If you _say_ so."She folded her arms.

Rin stood up, feeling that the couch had gotten too crowded. "He _did_ say so, and it _was_ going well."

"Dare I remind you that you were avoiding talking to him by tapping your phone."

"No, you do not dare."

"I told you, Kou, it's fine!"

She sighed, patting Nitori's head. "I know what you _said_, but that doesn't make it okay. I'll fight for you."

"Fight_ what_?" Rin asked, exasperated.

"You."

"You two are hilarious." Nitori grinned, leaning his elbows onto his lap. "I like you."

"I should hope you like your fiance."Gou leaned against him, looking up at him.

"Nice to know." Rin muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and praying that he wasn't blushing. Where was his phone.

Gou groaned. "You should _definitely_ tell your fiance that you like him back!"

"I don't have to do that!"  
"He _really_ doesn't have to do that!"  
The boys shouted at the same time.

Gou looked between them. "You guys will be _so_ cute together."

"Please stop embarrassing me."

"You are totally embarrassing yourself."

"Go _away_."

"Fine." Gou shot up from her seat, yanking Nitori with her. "But I'm taking him with me. Because _I_ will actually entertain him."

She was taking him towards the stairs. "Wait! Gou, you can't just -"

"What is it, big brother?" She asked, face completely dead. "Are you going to _miss_ him?"

"W-what-"

"IT'S A YES OR NO QUESTION."

"THAT, THAT ISN'T..."

"I have no idea what's happening here." Nitori just sort of giggled around in Gou's grasp, totally not comprehending what they were fighting over.

"YOU'LL MISS HIM!"

"He doesn't have to miss me, Kou!"

"WE HAVEN'T BONDED ENOUGH!"

"If you don't want to, then it's fine..."

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME TAKE HIM FROM YOU, RIN."

"You're taking me from him?"

"WHY ARE _YOU_ SO INFATUATED WITH HIM IS WHAT YOU'RE ASKING ME, ISN'T IT, GOU?"

"I don't..."

"YEAH RIN, WHY _ARE_ YOU SO INFATUATED WITH HIM?"

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID."

"Why is there so much shouting in here?"

The voice was completely calm. Yet somehow, it managed to overpower _all_ of the screaming in the room, and even though he stood in the doorway as though he hadn't lifted a finger, the door had slammed open with the power of a thousand dragons, and his face only managed to look _slightly_ agitated.

The Matsuoka's stood at attention as Nakamura emerged, suddenly on their best behavior.

"Aiichirou, are you alright?" He asked, very polite, but also very stiff.

Nitori nodded. "Oh, I'm doing just fine! Good even." He gently pulled out of Gou's grasp. "They're a really funny pair."

"Funny, huh?" The question was aimed at Nitori, but his glare was passing exclusively between the siblings.

"Yes. They have both been very nice to me, I assure you."

He finally looked down on Nitori, muttering as he adjusted his suit. "If you say it, I'll believe it."

"Thank you!" Nitori tittered, with that _precious_ smile again.

"But I came to let you know, your family will be departing soon."

"Al_ready_?" Gou groaned.

Nitori sighed. "Well, I guess they're back to business."

Gou leaned against him. "But we didn't even get to hang out today."

"Well I – I _will_ come back." Nitori glanced over to Rin, who (unbeknownst to anyone in the room – even himself) was sulking. "It takes more than a day to work out a marriage, you know."

"_Fine_, but next time you have to promise to spend more time with me." Gou held up her pinky.

"Of course." Nitori said, binding the promise with his own finger, before turning and walking to Rin.

He was really close to him. Not like, weirdly close, but much closer than he had been when they first greeted each other. On top of that he was grinning, and his eyes were lit. He bowed quickly.

"I'm excited to see you again, senpai! It was lovely meeting you."

Rin kind of grunted. Then he remembered that Nakamura was in the room, and he would not hesitate to bash a shoe into the back of his skull.

"Nice meeting you, too."

Gou squealed in the background. Nitori's face was even brighter. He headed to meet Nakamura at the door.

"See you, Ai!" Gou shouted with a wave.

"Until then." Nitori nodded to her, then disappeared through the door as Nakamura closed it behind him.

Gou had leapt up two steps. "I can't _wait_ to be related to that guy."

"Shut _up_, Gou!"


	7. The Photo (The Sister Strikes Again)

"He wants to meet you, you know?"

Haru had a talent for hearing things, even if he was underwater while you said them. This time was not any different, as he looked puzzled while he pulled his head above the water.

"Who does?"

"My fiance."

He looked shocked as he latched onto the concrete edge of the pool. "He does?"

"Yes."

"Why?" He pulled his eyebrows together. "How does he even know who I am?"

Rin hesitated to answer. "I may have mentioned you... once or twice."

"Or enough times for him to think I'm someone important." Haru tilted his head to the side, looking up at him.

"You _are_ someone important." Rin corrected him, drying his hair with a towel.

"I must be if your precious fiance cares about me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Haru shrugged, pushing off into a backfloat. "I don't know. You seem to like him a lot."

"Well I don't."

"Why not?" He breathed deeply, pointing his feet. "He seems nice."

"He _is_ nice."

Haru bothered to roll his eyes. "If he's so _nice_, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong – he just... he's not who I'm interested in."

"And who is?" He asked that question very absently, pulling his arm across his body as he switched to a front float.

It was probably a rhetorical question, but Rin was extremely embarrassed and extremely thankful that Haru's face was completely submerged so he couldn't see him blush. For obvious reasons._ And who is? _You are, you fucking idiot. You are.

But now was not the time or place for that, so he waited for him to resurface.

"So will you meet him or not?"

- - -

Rin was staring at his phone and halfway through the door when he heard his sister call to him.

"Rin, you're here! What a coincidence. I had no idea that you would be here. At this exact moment."

Rin rolled his eyes, turning to face her. "But I live he-"

He stopped midsentence. She was tugging his fiance along beside her. He had _just_ been swimming. His hair was wet. He did _not_ look presentable. Why did she have to do this.

"I live here." He muttered, finishing his sentence blankly as he stared at Nitori.

For a while, Nitori was smiling at him. But as he kept staring, and staring, and _staring_, his face eventually fell to something just short of fear.

"Rin! You're scaring him!"

"I- I'm what?" He asked, slowly breaking his gaze from his fiance. "I'm _what_?"

Gou stood behind Nitori, grabbing his shoulder with one hand and patting him on the back with the other. "Look, I know he's gorgeous, and you probably want to stare at him all the time. But that's why you have to take pictures, and keep them to yourself. Staring at him in person is freaky."

"What are you talking about?" Rin sounded so dumb. He couldn't think. He looked so gross.

"Now let me get out of the way for the picture. You don't want me in it." Gou ducked behind Nitori, then slowly peeked back over his shoulder. "Unless you're _into_ that kind of thing, bro... In which case, well, that probably isn't okay."

"I don't think that's okay." Nitori whispered to her.

"But I trust you, so maybe just this once-"

"Stop! What? Stop." Rin cut in again, because that conversation seriously needed to end. At that exact moment.

Gou rolled her eyes. "Then take the picture! Ai, smile."

Rin could have handled her on his own, eventually. She was his little sister after all, and he knew how to manage her antics. But the thing that threw him off was the fact that Nitori _actually_ smiled. He just did whatever she told him to by instinct, and he looked so ready to have his picture taken. It was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. It was a weak smile, somewhat forced, and he couldn't even look directly at Rin, so he'd settled for focusing on one of his ears instead.

After a few moments, Gou looked over at her brother again. "Are you going to take the picture or what? You're taking forever."

"I – I didn't even ask to take a picture!' Rin shouted, gripping his phone tightly.

Gou let her shoulders drop, releasing Nitori from her grasp. "Well fine, then. Ai, he doesn't want to take your picture."

It could have ended there. But no, Nitori's face just dropped so _quickly_. He was probably just tired of forcing that smile, but the change of expression was so fast that he almost looked sad. That face snatched Rin's heartstrings practically out of his chest.

"N_o_!" Rin spat, holding his hands out to stop the boy. Oh god. What was he doing. He couldn't even look at him. He was probably blushing. He still looked so gross. "Wait I'll – let me – I'll take... Uh..." He just held up his phone between two shaking hands, slowly unlocking it and pulling up the camera as he gave up on speaking.

Gou stared at him, trying to filter through his jumbled mumbling. When she finally managed, she leaned over to translate to Nitori. "I think he wants to take that picture."

"I'm not like – it isn't - !" Could he hide behind his phone? Could he maybe shrink down to the size of an ant and hide in a crack or get stepped on because _seriously_, at this point he would rather -

She rolled her eyes, crossing over to him. "What do you _want_, Rin? Make up your mind!"

He wanted a hug and ice cream. He wanted to stop embarrassing himself in front of this guy every waking moment that they were in each other's vicinity. He wanted to know why he couldn't be cool with this guy. He wanted to know why he could still act suave around the love of his life, but not around his fake fiance. He wanted Gou to hang out with Nitori less, so they wouldn't see each other as often, and he wouldn't keep bumbling around. He wanted a lot of things. He could have none of them.

Nitori was laughing at him, which seemed to have become a recurring theme. And he was just _so _cute -

But he swears he did not take the picture. We all know he didn't, because he said he didn't. _Rin_ believes that Gou pressed it for him. Or she bumped into his arm and it accidentally landed square on the shutter button. Or he sneezed and his finger ended up taking the picture. Sometimes he says that he never even took a picture – it just showed up on his phone one day. The story changes a lot.

"Did you seriously take that picture?"

"N-no! What? What picture?"

Gou snagged his phone, staring at the marvel that was a laughing Aiichirou Nitori, embedded into the memory of her brother's phone for all of eternity. He looked really cute, eyes shut and mouth half covered like he always did, a wide mouthed smile peaking from beneath his fingers, leaning forward a bit to keep his balance. He was so cute. He was always cute. She started tapping at the keys.

"Gou, what are you doing?" Rin growled.

She did not cease. "I'm sending this picture to myself. This is such a cute picture of such a cute boy."

"Gou – I'm not that cute." Nitori coughed out. "I'm not cute at all."

She only paused to glare at him. A glare that would make hellhounds put their tails between their legs, and shrink away. She went back to sending the picture to herself.

Rin leaned away from her. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that she thinks you're _really_ cute."

"I should be more worried about whether you think I'm cute or not." Nitori said. He totally didn't mean for it to mean anything. He was _just_ saying it because it crossed his mind.

Rin couldn't even say anything. It took every fiber of his being not to run away right then. Every now and then Nitori did this thing where he got really straight forward, and it seemed like most of the time it was not on purpose, but _oh_. _OH_. Rin couldn't even speak.

Gou was just as baffled, before turning away and screaming into the air. "And just like that, Ai starts putting the moves on him!" She ran to him, grabbing his arms as she grinned in his face. "Look at you! That's the way to do it! Way to go, Ai, way to_ go_!"

He looked so scared. He regretted saying it so _so_ much.

"_And_ it's a valid statement! Oh man. _Oh_ man. You've got me beat at this." She patted his head. "Handle your own flirting from now on. You have outdone me."

"I w-wasn't – I was not flirting. That's not what I meant to do." He was trying so hard. He did not mean to say that. That _thing_.

"Well whatever you did it worked." Gou nodded back to Rin, who had now covered his face because he was one hundred percent sure he was bright red, and with his free hand he was latched onto the doorknob for dear life. "Look at your boy."

Was he going to faint? He could have fainted. Was this even real.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" Now he was genuinely concerned. It was like everything Aiichirou Nitori did was aimed straight at Rin Matsuoka's heart, and it was tearing him to pieces.

Rin shook his head. He had to snap out of this. He was freaking Nitori out. "N-no. I'm fine. It's all fine. See? Whatever. It's whatever." He stood up straight but he still couldn't uncover his face.

They waited patiently for him to recover. After a solid two minutes, he finally sniffed very loudly, and took his hand away from his face. He was still red at his neck, but most of his face had calmed down.

"Can we – are we going inside? Is that a thing that's going to happen?" He asked. He could hear his own voice straining. Oh _god_.

"Sure?" Gou said skeptically, stepping through the door as Rin opened it.

As Nitori tried to pass him quickly and quietly, Rin dropped a hand onto Nitori's shoulder. "B-by the way, Nitori."

"Y-yes senpai!" He sounded so scared and ashamed. Why did this have to happen. Why was he so cute.

"Haru. Haru said he wants to meet you too."

"Oh." Nitori's face grew a bit pink. "Oh! I'm excited to meet him! Please make sure... he knows... that!" His sentence had gone all wonky because for a second, he accidentally looked Rin in the eyes, and then he couldn't do it anymore, and got a little scared, and had to finish it by looking at his own toes. He was so cute.

"Yeah. That. I'll do that." Rin lifted his hand from his shoulder, also completely unable to look at his fiance anymore.

"Good. Good." Nitori nodded, then quickly turned and scurried after Gou, who'd been waiting for him during this uncomfortable sidebar.

She linked arms with him, guiding him through a door as she whispered in his ear. "He thinks you're cute."


	8. The Preambulus

There was actually a long span of time before Rin could even schedule the big meetup. Either Nitori was doing something or Haru was, or on the day that they were both free, _Rin_ was busy. And then, Haru insisted that _he_ should be allowed to bring someone too – just in case things got uncomfortable. Which made Rin a little upset, because he liked to think that he'd be able to keep a conversation going. Or, you know, at least that Nitori would. But he couldn't deny Haru, so he just agreed to let him bring a buddy – and then _that_ posed even more conflicts and issues and – it was all just one really big mess for a really long time. But by some miracle sent down from the heavens above, they had found a Sunday evening when they were _all_ free. Praises be. But in all honesty, it was probably all for the best that it had taken this long.

Rin had developed this weird infatuation with Nitori, and he was sure it wasn't love because finally (FINALLY), he had almost figured out how to be a normal human being around him, but every now and then he'd turn back into that blushing idiot that he'd never really been before. And, since neither of those personas were consistent, it was obviously a fluke, and thus, a weird, temporary infatuation. He was certain.

He had to admit that it was nice, though. It was nice how he could invite Nitori over a couple of hours early without feeling like he was going to implode from embarrassment; it was nice that they could have a conversation and Nitori would laugh and he'd have this little game with himself of _trying_ to get Rin to smile – it was all just really, _really_ nice. But it wasn't love, so it would stay nice.

"Shit!"

Even extremely heated bouts of Mario Kart somehow became _nice_.

Before today, Rin had never heard Nitori curse, and he insisted that it was because he just didn't _do_ it. Rin, having inherited his potty mouth from his mom, didn't really understand this concept. But Nitori just about never swore, as far as he could tell, and yet this was the second time today. At first he'd been on a winning streak, but then the tides turned in Rin's favour, and this was the _second_ consecutive time that Rin had beaten him. For every banana peel he slipped on, and for every shell that collided with his kart, he always came close to tripping up, but then fixed it – what would have been "damnit!" quickly became "dang flabbit" and "you son of a bitch" instantly switched to "son of a _gun_." - and it was generally very precious. But last time Rin had beaten him, he finally yelled "God dammit!", and this time around he yelled "Shit!" and Rin was willing to bet that if he beat him one more time, it might even escalate to a darling "Fuck!"

"What was that, Nitori?" Rin feigned innocence, mentally laughing at the seething boy on the couch above him.

"Shoot." Nitori narrowed his eyes, sagging a bit. "I meant to say shoot."

"Watch that language of yours, kid." Rin was making fun of him.

"Oh, shut up."

And that was the kind of thing that made him blush again. Those words and phrases and habits that blatantly stated just how much closer they were getting. Because, really? About a month ago, it would have been nearly impossible for the two to even hold a slight conversation. Yet today here they were, lounging around at Rin's house playing games together, and Nitori was comfortable enough to be annoyed with Rin, even a little demanding. There had been a point in time when Rin _scared_ him, and now he could easily just tell Rin to 'shut up'. Now, he was able to loosen up enough around Rin that he could accidentally let a swear or two escape his lips. They were _really_ that okay with each other. And of course, Nitori thought nothing of it, but it made Rin get all itchy inside because _oh man, _to some degree, they _liked_ each other. As in, mutually, they _enjoyed_ each other's presence. It was hard for him to wrap his head around the idea of them even being near that level – much less having already fully cleared it.

"Nobody likes a sore loser, _kouhai_." That was a joke. It was not the first time he had told this joke. They even had an inside joke already.

"Bug off, _senpai_." Nitori replied, gently dropping his controller on Rin's head as he sat up. "Don't we have a date anyway?"

Rin nodded slowly, leaning against the sofa behind him. "If we're already engaged, do we still have to date?"

"I expect you to take me out on dates even after we're married."

"That's bothersome!" Rin shouted, crawling across the floor to the television to shut the console down

Also, they were okay to talk about the marriage. They were okay to joke around about the fact that they were getting married in, like, a month. Of course there was a 'we were forced to do this' kind of air about it, but they could still joke about it. They still made plans for their married life. It was fun. It was a good joke.

"But yeah," Rin glanced at the clock above the television as he rose. "We should go."

Nitori slid from the couch, following Rin to the atrium. "My nerves are going to hit me eventually, I mean it. Be ready for that."

"You get nervous?" Rin asked, slinking his coat on and holding Nitori's out for him.

The smaller boy pushed his arms through the sleeves, thanking Rin as he jerked out of his grasp. "Always right before something big happens. Other people get nervous early and get over it – I think I just ignore my nerves until right before the big moment."

"Well if it makes you feel better," Rin pulled the front door open as he let Nitori exit. "I'm nervous. Now."

"For what?" Nitori screwed his face up as Rin locked the door behind them. "They're your _friends_. What do you have to be nervous for?"

Rin began his stroll down the street, side-eyeing his fiance. "I'm assuming you want an honest answer, so I gotta say – I never know what's going to come out of your mouth."

"What?" Nitori asked, tagging along. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It _means_ that you have, like, seven different personalities, and I'm not sure which one is going to come out today."

Nitori pouted, bumping against Rin in annoyance. "I do not have seven different personalities. It's not my fault that I'm awkward and detached when I first meet people."

"So you're just going through the phases of trying to make friends? Is that what you're saying?" Rin asked skeptically.

"That is exactly what I'm saying."

Rin shrugged. "Still doesn't explain why sometimes you're cute and other times I'm scared you'll devour me whole."

"Flexibility is a good trait to have, okay?" Nitori retorted smugly. Then his eyes widened, and he looked towards the street. "Please don't call me cute. I'm not cute."

On the contrary, Rin had just as quickly taken to staring at the fence that lined the sidewalk. He had 100% not meant to call him cute. It just slipped out. "I didn't mean to call you cute."

They were both silent for a while. Sometimes they forgot that, yes, they were more comfortable with each other – but there were still things that they couldn't say without becoming blushing third graders.

Nitori, always there to pick up the rebound, was the first to pipe up again. "But in all honesty – I'm really excited to meet senpai's 'special person'" He accentuated 'special person' like it was some mystic unheard of thing.

"What do you mean by 'special person'?" Rin asked quickly. Seriously, what did he mean. Did he mean like, just someone special, or literally _his_ special person? How did he know? Like, of course Nitori was special too, but a _different_ kind of special. Rin had a lot of special people, right? RIGHT?

Nitori was completely unaware of Rin's inner turmoils, or at least, really good at acting like he was. "I mean, you talk about this 'Haru' guy _all_ the time. He's probably your best friend, right?"

Rin couldn't speak. He was still staring at the fence. He has a faint memory of maybe croaking a little bit in response.

"And you guys have known each other for a long time – you probably know each other _well_ too." Nitori dropped his shoulders, looking up to the sky with a smile. "That kind of thing doesn't happen much anymore these days! Someone like that is hard to come by."

Someone like Haru was hard to come by? Nitori – Nitori, stop. Were you _trying_ to convince him that he should be marrying Haru instead? _Right_ after the two of you had just become comfy with the idea of married life, there you go, pointing out how great it is to have someone like Haru in his life. You're making his life harder. Rin still couldn't talk.

"I mean, if I had someone like that, I'd want to be around him all the time."

Nitori, _stop_.

"Could you imagine living with someone like that? Someone you already know so well – it would probably just work out really naturally, wouldn't it?"

_Nitori you are not helping yourself_.

"I would love to have someone like that."

It was sad that he _didn't_ have someone like that.

"Wait, I mean, I would love someone like that."

DAMN IT NITORI.

"You probably love Nanase, right?" Nitori seemed to realise that he was having a conversation with himself, and bothered to direct a question specifically at Rin.

Rin was looking anywhere and everywhere in hopes of finding a new fence to stare at. He would look anywhere but at Nitori's darling little face, basically blatantly asking if he was cheating on him. Or, probably not. He probably didn't mean it like that. Rin was going to die.

Rin shrugged, settling his eyes on the pocket of his pants, pulling it inside out and then shoving it back inside. "He's ridiculous. Maybe."

"Maybe?" Nitori asked lowering a brow. "I thought you'd have stronger feelings for someone you've known that long."

OKAY ARE YOU LITERALLY ASKING IF HE IS IN LOVE WITH HARUKA AND DO YOU WANT AN ACTUAL ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION?

Rin cracked his neck, he was so tense from trying to keep his cool. His head was racing. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

Nitori huffed, bumping Rin again but not moving away this time. "You're so stupid!"

He called Rin stupid. They had reached the level that Nitori felt like he could insult Rin, and Rin knew that he meant absolutely nothing by it. They were at the point where they could say something mean to each other, and know that it was nothing less than affectionate. They had reached that level. Nitori was glued to Rin's side, and they were both okay, walking like that.

Okay as in, Rin had no desire to push him away, and Nitori had no desire to move. Not okay as in, Rin didn't feel anything from it. Rin Matsuoka was _painfully_ aware of the boy at his side, insulting him lovingly, and he got that itchy feeling again – the one that he couldn't pinpoint as negative. And that's the thing that worried him. Nitori made him feel a _good_ kind of itch, but he was already in love with someone else. This kind of sucked. He felt conflicted.

"I am, in fact, very stupid."


	9. The Meet

They had gone out at a time that was some weird mix between lunch and dinner, and thus the restaurant was not particularly crowded. Nitori was still pretty unfamiliar with the area, so he had never seen the place before. It was a cute spot, nestled into a block like it was meant to be a house, with delicious scents wafting through the front door. Upon entering, the smells only grew stronger as he took in the brown and gold motif, the wooden furniture, the red curtains. It felt like home.

As the pair waded through the restaurant, they quickly made their way to the back door. Nitori, always excited to see something new, took in the view. A back patio wrapped about the rear of the building, opening up to a quaint back lot with more tables scattered about. The restaurant owned a larger plot of land than he had expected, and it was clear that the outside area was one of the main attractions to the dner.

Rin had noticed his fiance staring, and couldn't help but smile at him. "I take it you like the place?"

Nitori looked up. Rin was sure to wipe the smile off of his face before he could see it. The boy didn't even speak, just gave Rin a strong nod, and turned back to scanning the entire lot, mouth slightly open.

Before he could make fun of him anymore, Rin heard a familiar voice calling to him.

"Rin!"

The voice was unmistakable. Rin took a deep breath, turning to his right quickly and locking eyes with Haru's chosen companion.

There stood Makoto Tachibana, waving happily with a wide smile plastered across his face. There was, actually, no reason for Rin to be surprised by Haru's choice. Whenever he needed backup, or someone to handle his situations for him, Makoto was the one on call. When people couldn't find Haru, they called Makoto – assuming that either Haru was with him, or that he would instantly know where he was.

Nitori leaned over, whispering to Rin. "That's your friend?"

"Yeah." He didn't hesitate to say that, because Makoto was his friend – no doubt. He could answer that faster than he could whether Haru was his friend or not. Makoto was just generally _fantastic_, and he always took good care of Haru whenever Rin couldn't. Also, there were no underlying romantic implications that made him worry that calling him a 'friend' would jinx whatever chances they had together. That was Haru stuff. Makoto was easy.

"He's not what I imagined." Nitori added, still quiet.

"Oh. No!" Rin quickly shook his head, correcting him. "That isn't Haruka. That's Makoto – another one. I don't think I talk about him much."

Nitori shook his head as well. "No, no you don't."

"Come on." Rin muttered, feeling a little bad that he had spent so much time gushing over Haru, but never bothered to mention someone who'd been his friend for just as long. "That's who Haru came with. You'll see him soon."

Nitori took in a stutter of a breath, letting Rin pull him along. He would not have moved of his own accord.

When the two reached him, Makoto was prepared to turn and go, but flipped back to them when he noticed Nitori. "And... who's this? Might I ask your name?"

Nitori did not say anything. He just stared up at Makoto, mouth glued completely shut. He'd done that thing with his eyes, so that they weren't shining anymore. They'd reverted back to that icy, 'I look like this because I'm scared and I hope that this look will ward you off', thing that he'd had going on when Rin first met him. He was extremely nervous. For the first time in about a thousand years, Rin was able to read someone's body language. He took over the conversation.

"Seriously? Did Haru even tell you why you're here?"

Makoto shook his head with a shrug, giving Nitori a sad look before he turned to Rin. "He just told me that we had to arrange something, and that I should come. I have no idea what's going on!"

"Man," Rin groaned, rolling his eyes. "You gotta stop letting him do that to you."

"No, it's alright! He hasn't steered me into danger yet." Makoto's smile was back on his face in an instant. "Come on, our table's this way."

Makoto turned from them, and in an instant, Nitori was tugging on Rin's sleeve and biting his lip.

"Yeah, what was that about?" Rin asked, glaring down at him. "Since when do you completely shut down like that? You at least made an effort when you met me-"

Nitori still had those icy eyes, and this time they were on the offensive. The kind that said 'yeah okay well I_ had_ to make nice with you because _guess what_ we're getting married'. Rin took the hint. Eventually, those eyes melted down, and Nitori tugged on his sleeve again.

Rin sighed. "What is it?"

He tugged again.

Rin finally leaned down, letting Nitori cup his hands around his ear as he whispered,

"That guy's really tall."

Rin shot up, giving Nitori a strange look. "Well, yeah? Is it that big a deal?"

Nitori stared at the ground.

"What? Do you have some fetish for tall guys? Is that the only reason you put up with me?"

"That's not it!" Nitori hissed, pushing Rin gently. "It's a little – uh, it's..."

"Are you scared of tall people?"

"I'm not _scared_!" He paused. "I'm just... um..."

"Strongly intimidated?"

"M-maybe." Nitori huffed, still absently pulling on Rin's sleeve. "You're tall. You wouldn't get it."

"Oh, come on. You're – you're like, average height."

"You don't get it."

"Are you two coming?" Makoto had doubled back to the boys, who'd completely neglected to follow him.

"Right, yeah." Rin nodded, taking the first few steps. "We're doing that."

Again, Nitori would not have moved of his own accord. He just never let go of Rin's sleeve, and thus his body followed wherever that sleeve took him.

They followed Makoto just a few feet before reaching the star of the day, Haruka Nanase, staring off into the air as he waited for them.

"Haru," Makoto called over, hopping towards his friend. "They're here."

"Hm?" He looked up, as though he'd been perturbed from something else. "Oh, hello."

"He's so pretty." Nitori whisper hissed, in a voice so quiet yet so clear that it was a wonder that Rin even heard it, but also that Makoto and Haru hadn't.

Rin closed his eyes, breathing deeply. "You are such a weird person."

He looked over to his friends, finally taking a seat. "Haru, why didn't you tell Makoto why he's here?"

"He didn't need to know. He was fine coming anyway." Haru replied easily. "I don't like to answer people's questions, and he never asked."

"Th-that's why?" Makoto laughed awkwardly. He may have felt a little hurt that it wasn't because, like, Haru trusted him or something.

Haru sighed, leaning toward the table. "Also, because you are a good conversationalist."

"Ah, that makes sense." Makoto's smile was more sincere now, and Haru relaxed now that he'd appeased his guest.

The conversation paused as Makoto and Haru both looked in Rin's direction, then quickly over his head. Then they looked back at him, switching between the two in sync.

"What?" Rin asked, slightly annoyed as he turned around. "What is it – damn it."

This whole time, Nitori had been inching away. Very slowly. How did he get so far away. He was staring at Rin. He was so far away.

"What are you doing!" Rin shouted over to him. "Come here."

Nitori bothered to look shocked. He shuffled toward the table again. He never stopped staring at Rin. When was the last time he had blinked.

"Are you going to sit down?"

He did not respond, and he did not comply.

Rin stared back at him.

Something was wrong. So he let his face soften.

"Come on, what's wrong?" Rin asked, suddenly patient.

Nitori looked shocked, clasping his hands behind his back. "It's nothing, really, it's not."

Rin blinked. He was morphing into something else right before his eyes. "O..kay then."

Nitori pulled his chair out, and sat in it, suddenly bursting into laughter. "I'm sorry about the way I've been acting! I'm... uh... _nervous_."

"More like you're a loser." Rin muttered instinctively, looking away from his fiance.

Under the table, Nitori stomped Rin's foot. Rin choked. There's his boy.

Makoto had looked very confused this entire time between the two of them, but once Nitori spoke, his face lit up. "That's alright. I take it you haven't met Haru either, have you?"

"N-no." Nitori shook his head. "But I've been looking forward to it for a while." He gave Haru that dazzling smile.

Something seemed to come over Haru – but Rin couldn't exactly place it. Haru just gave a quick nod. "I've been wanting to meet you, too."

Haru was making a genuine effort to get along. That was so cute. Nitori was getting over his anxiety and blushing. That was so cute. Rin hated this. The conversation had died.

"If it counts for anything," Makoto leaned back into his chair. "I'm happy to meet you too!"

'Oh – right!" Nitori turned to the tall boy. "You don't even know who I am!"

Makoto laughed at that. "You can just tell me whenever you're ready."

"Now's fine." Nitori chuckled, reaching a hand across the table. "Aiichirou Nitori – but, you can call me Ai if you want. You too, Nanase."

Whoa.  
What.  
That was an option?

_THAT WAS AN OPTION_.

AS IN, RIN COULD HAVE BEEN CALLING HIM AI THIS ENTIRE TIME.

Is this a joke. They could have skipped this whole, senpai, last name, bullshit? Rin was vaguely pissed. Makoto and Haru would be calling his fiance by his first name before he could. He needed to cool down.

Hey, without the senpai thing, they wouldn't have their inside joke.

He took a deep breath, grabbing a menu.

"Are we gonna eat or what?"


	10. The Luncheon

Nitori had never seen Rin laugh so much, and so hard. This was the first time Rin had let him see his smile, and Gou was right. It _was_ the best. Rin didn't notice it, but every now and again, Nitori got caught up in staring at him, just to make sure he remembered it. Rin had a picture of Nitori laughing, so, it would only be _fair_ for Nitori to have one of Rin, right? But he wouldn't focus on that. He wanted to enjoy the moment as much as Rin was.

Nitori was up for scrutinizing people just as much as he was for trying to understand them – and what he understood instantly was that there was nearly nothing to scrutinize about these friends that Rin had. It appeared that Makoto was genuinely as good as he seemed. He could lighten the mood in an instant, and he clearly wanted to befriend Nitori, without even really knowing who he was. He was – he was like a big, nice teddy bear.

And if Nitori could say Haruka was anything, then he would say that Haru was cool. His calm, collectedness just breathed an air of 'everything is fine'. Where Rin was always high maintenance, Haru seemed to be the exact opposite – always staring off into some space, or speaking some word of wisdom in a quiet voice. He just gave off the impression of an older, smarter, calm guy, who would stay that way until he died. Nitori kind of admired that in him. He didn't have to push his personality at all, and he still made Rin laugh. It seemed like he'd been like this forever, and he managed to make two fantastic friends. Haru had made it through life just by being himself, and Nitori wanted that. In a way, he probably admired Haru, and he wouldn't be ashamed to admit it if anyone asked. It was no wonder he made Rin so happy.

They just seemed to be a couple of very natural, very nice kind of guys.

Rin had laughed for a full five seconds longer than everyone else. Nitori didn't mind, because he liked to watch, Makoto just looked happy to be seeing his friend, and Haru still had this mildly apathetic, but somewhat pleased face.

Makoto turned to Nitori then, placing his hands in his lap. "Ai, I'm sorry this question is so sudden, but I have to ask – exactly who are you?" He paused, mortified by his own tone and choice of words. "I mean – what I mean is, er, what I'm trying to _say_ is, how do you _know_ Rin?"

Nitori flashed his smile at Makoto. "It's fine to ask, I don't have a problem telling you!'

Actually, there kind of was a problem. As in, Rin had yet to bring up the whole fiance thing. Like, at this point, they'd avoided the topic so well that Nitori wasn't even sure that _Haru_ knew about it anymore. Did that mean that Rin didn't want them to know yet? Or at all? Or was it okay for him to just say it?

He decided to play it safe, taking a sip of his iced tea.

"We're family friends – and Kou and I go pretty far back." He put the drink down, fiddling with the straw. "I've only recently gotten to know Rin, and I'm happy I did! He's a really interesting kind of guy."

The term 'family friend' made Haru's nose twitch.

"Ah, I see. So you and Kou were friends first."

"Right!"

"Nitori." Rin rolled his eyes, groaning. "What are you talking about?"

Nitori's head snapped up, and he almost knocked his drink over. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad. "Wh-what? I'm just telling him the tru-"

"This guy," Rin leaned an elbow onto the table, pointing to Nitori. "That's my fiance."

"Your what?"

"My fiance."

"Oh."

Haru nodded. "I was wondering if this would actually be a part of the conversation."

"Haru di- did you know about this?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did no one... tell me?" Makoto asked. He felt a little left out, which is understandable, considering how big a deal the topic was.

Rin shrugged. "Nothing personal. I just didn't think it was that important." He was sipping his water as he said it. He was being so casual about it.

"I guess so." Makoto sighed loudly, feeling a little dumb for not knowing.

On the one hand, Nitori was horribly embarrassed and blushing furiously. How could he just slide it into the conversation like that? You can't just drop a _bomb_ like that on a person. This kind of thing is very important information!

But on the other, he was very happy that Rin had no shame in calling him his fiance. He liked how easily it escaped the older boy's mouth, and just as much how accepting Makoto was. _My_ fiance. It was – it was kind of like, Rin had finally acknowledged that they basically belonged to each other. And that felt really, really good. He felt warm.

Rin felt the warmth that the boy was basically emitting. He had to work his hardest to not revert to blushing child mode in front of everyone. Not in front of Haru. Then he might get the wrong idea. Like, if he cared about that kind of thing, he might accidentally start thinking that Rin was in love with that kid. Which he wasn't. He was just alright with marrying him.

"Besides, he's a total dork." Rin tried to get past his thought process. "He gets frustrated playing Mario Kart."

"So do you?" Haru said skeptically, but too quickly to really be having any second thoughts.

"I think everyone does." Makoto nodded along, placing his hands on the table. "I don't see how that makes Ai a dork."

"I'm not a dork!" Nitori groaned, rolling his eyes. Then he leaned down and took another sip from his cup. "I just like games and hate losing."

"He sounds just like you." Makoto grinned. "Just quieter."

"More pleasant." Haru nodded along.

"What was that, asshole?" Rin growled across the table through a smile. More proof that he loved Haru, and not Nitori. Nitori could call him stupid, and he could call Nitori a loser, but would he call Nitori an asshole? No. Because he loved Haru and that's what they did.

"Scientific fact." Nitori nodded. "I am more pleasant than Rin."

Rin quickly dropped his fist onto Nitori's head, hissing through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry? You mispronounced annoying. More annoying."

"Don't call me _that_!" Nitori whined.

"Rin, stop bullying him." Makoto flapped his hand in their direction, only vaguely disrupted. "He's very nice."

"Ah!" Nitori's eyes widened in shock, as he stared at Makoto. "No you – you're very nice! I was going to say that about you!"

Makoto's face mocked Nitori's, as he was practically knocked back in his seat by the little boy's sweetness. "That – that is so nice of you to say."

"Quit flirting with my fiance." Rin said, mostly jokingly. Mostly.

"Oh – I..." Makoto couldn't tear his eyes from Nitori. They were in some sort of trance, encased by each other's niceness.

"You're his ultimate weakness." Rin continued, still mostly joking.

"I, I what?" Makoto couldn't even blink.

"He's got a thing for tall guys."

"Quit it!" Nitori yelled, punching Rin's arm. It actually hurt. "I do not! Stop lying about me, you asshole."

HE SAID IT

"What'd you call me, punk?" Rin grabbed Nitori's face between both of his hands. "I don't think I heard you right."

"You heard me." Nitori grimaced, blowing a raspberry at Rin.

Rin pushed harder. "You're disgusting and short."

"You're tall and awkward but I'm not complaining, am I?"

"Should we... should we stop them?" Makoto turned to Haru, who seemed be in his own trance.

He was watching the two of them – not just Rin or Nitori. It was the two of them together that he cared to see. He was interested. He took a while to process the question that Makoto had asked him.

He shook his head, a small smile crossing his face. "No. They're fine. They're good."


	11. The Thought

Rin Matsuoka got good grades, but he was kind of a stupid guy. There was some sort of _madness_ in his mind that made him think that since Nitori now knew Haru and Makoto, they could _all_ hang out together.

He was right, of course, that they could, but he didn't understand that he was ruining himself. He couldn't help mindlessly comparing Haru and Nitori in nearly everything that they did. Nine times out of ten, there would be a moment where Makoto would nudge him to get him out of this trance that he'd been pulled into.

Rin didn't understand himself, and he was beginning to realise it. Like, why even bother comparing them? Really, if he was so sure that he was head over heels in love with Haru, what was there even to compare? He couldn't comprehend that this, this constant need for reassurance was... well, it was how he expressed his feelings of doubt. He was doubting that he loved Haru – but he wouldn't know it if it punched him in the face.

But more importantly – Rin had not considered Nitori. He had not considered the way that Nitori felt, or what his personality was like, or just how perceptive the boy truly was. He loved getting to hang out with Rin's friends. He felt that it was Rin genuinely attempting to include him in his life, and that in itself was so sweet and accepting, and he loved it. He loved it, and he loved Rin, he was pretty sure.

Nitori knew what love felt like, now.  
They were supposed to be married in two weeks.

But no matter what he did, he could never get Rin to smile the way that the others did, never got him to laugh the way that Haru could, with just the slightest remark. He might have been a little jealous – but mostly, he just wished that he was as good as Haru. Haru, who was this fantastic swimmer and artist, and got good grades and could somehow hold a conversation without even holding the conversation. He couldn't be angry at Haru, and he couldn't be angry at Rin. Haruka Nanase was just so cool, and he couldn't help it. Even Nitori was drawn to him and that calm attitude of his: so it only made sense that Rin was too. Except, Rin had known Haru much longer and, it only made sense that after a while, you'd fall for someone like that.

Nitori knew that Rin was comparing them. But he didn't see himself as much of a competition. He didn't see how anyone could choose him over Haru. _He_ wouldn't even choose himself over Haru.

It wasn't Rin's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. You don't control who you fall in love with.

Nitori just wished that it had been him instead.

They were supposed to be married in two weeks.  
Nitori knew what love felt like, now.  
He was pretty sure that he loved Rin, but he was also pretty sure that Rin didn't love him.


	12. The Fair

"Look at it." Rin stared up into the sky, mouth gaping open.

"You judged me for picking this." Nitori reminded him with a grin, shoving a ticket into his pocket.

Rin grimaced. "Shut up and look at it."

"I'm looking, I'm looking." Nitori said to appease him, but was totally not looking.

The traveling fair had always popped up here annually since Rin was tiny. But he had stopped going a _long_ time ago – fairs were for little kids, and moms with their little kids. Not mature young adults. But it was Nitori's turn to pick where they went, and he'd never been to this thing before. Rin had groaned and moaned about it for ten minutes straight, whining and calling Nitori a baby for wanting to go, but his mind couldn't be changed. Nitori had taken the liberty to invite Makoto and Haru on his own. Gou was going to come, whether he asked her to or not.

"You've got a good boyfriend there, bro." Gou muttered, reading a message that she had just received with a smile.

Rin nearly choked at the word boyfriend. "Boyfriend? Nitori's not – uh – you..?"

Nitori rolled his eyes. "Heaven forbid she calls me your boyfriend. That's too intimate. We need to stick strictly to fiance. That's platonic enough."

"Either way - never again will you be allowed to say that Ai doesn't know what he's talking about." Gou nodded, tapping at the keys on her phone.

"Oh?" Nitori looked up at Gou, then slowly, judgingly, turned to face Rin. "He said that?"

Rin stared back down at Nitori, looking mildly concerned for his own safety. "I'm going to get cotton candy do you want some?"

"Pink please." Nitori asked, smiling a thin smile that whispered death.

"Pink." Rin nodded stiffly, terrified as he backed into a trash can. "Pink." He said again, dashing off to a sign that read COTTON CANDY! in vibrant letters.

Nitori was laughing at him when Gou gently tapped his arm.

"Hm? What is it?"

"That's what I was going to ask you." She lowered her brows in concern. "What is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Nitori dug his hands into his pockets, holding eye contact with her and never letting the smile leave his face.

Gou shook her head. "I'm surprised that you can look me in the eye and lie to me."

"I'm not lying – I really don't know!"

She closed in on him then. "There's something wrong." Gou leaned her forehead onto his. "Something's up between you and Rin."

Nitori held her stare for a bit, then glanced at the ground as his shoulders sagged. "Kou, we're friends, right?"

"Of course we are." She responded instantly, wrapping her hand into his. "You shouldn't even have to ask."

"Okay." Nitori nodded. "So you know – you know your brother pretty well, right?"

"I like to think so."

"I think – I think he hasn't..." Nitori shook his head. "I don't..."

"C'mon Ai, spit it out."

"I don't know how to say it yet." He smiled sadly, removing his hand from hers.

For a moment, Gou glared. Then she pouted. Then she sighed. "Okay, it's fine, it's fine. But when you _do_ figure it out – let me know. I want to help."

Nitori laughed uncomfortably. "I know you do! It's just, you know, he's your brother and all."

"Hey," She pointed a warning finger at him. "We're best friends. You're supposed to tell me all your secrets."

"Right."

"Remember the golden rule."

"What?"

"Sisters before misters."

Nitori blinked twice, tilting his head to the side. "Does that... does that even apply to this kind of situation?"

"Yes." She nodded quickly, lifting her phone as it beeped.

Nitori smiled a small smile at her. "Sei?"

"Yes it is – he's here." Gou stared at the phone, already typing out her response.

"Go ahead!" Nitori pushed her shoulders. "Go hang out with your boyfriend. Tell him I say hello."

Gou glanced up at him. "But I don't want to lea-"

"Kou! I am a big boy. I can stand alone at the fair for two minutes while my fiance gets us cotton candy. I assure you."

"You're sure?"

"Entirely."

Gou gave him one last look, before slowly backing away. "Okay then."

"Okay."

"Bye now."

"Bye, enjoy yourself!"

She smiled at him one last time before ditching into the crowd.

Nitori was alone. He regretted not telling her.

- - -

"This is good, very good." Nitori nodded approvingly at the cotton candy in his hands.

Makoto and Haru had found him before Rin got back, because the line was excruciatingly long.

"Really?" Haru asked, curious and totally wanting some.

"You can have some, if you want!" Nitori offered excitedly. Omg. Sharing cotton candy with the cool older boy.

Haru stared at Nitori for a second, then reached his hand out and tore off a piece of the pink, thread like food. He nodded as he ate it, smiling slowly. "I agree. This is good. Very good."

_That was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute that was so cute oh my god that was so cute_

"Haru? You're actually getting along with someone?" Rin placed a hand to Haru's forehead, pretending to check for a fever. "Are you sure you feel alright."

Haru slapped his hand away. "I told you – Ai is more pleasant than you are. We get along better." He muttered, inching closer to the short boy.

Nitori would have done backflips if he could. Or if it would have been less weird. "Nanase, you can't say things like that around him. He'll get jealous." he mumbled, biting into the cotton candy.

Rin turned to Makoto with a confused expression. "Just making sure I got this right – _I'm_ the one marrying one of them. They aren't marrying each other, _right_?"

In all honesty, Rin would be cool with an open polyamorous thing between all three of them, if that was an option. But when it was just the two of them and he was completely left out, he had to remind himself that he loved Haru, and Haru was supposed to love him. Not Nitori. They both had impenetrable skills of attraction. It would not be fair if they got each other.

"You're right." Makoto laughed. "But I see why you ask."

Nitori shook his head, then quickly turned to Rin with a light in his eyes. "Hey! I want to get on something that'll make me throw up!"

"That is so gross." Rin winced.

"No, that's the _fun _of going to these things." The short boy was practically vibrating. "I'm getting on the Scrambler."

"But you're eating that cotton candy." Rin tried to stop him.

Nitori held the sweet back out to Haru, who gladly took as much as he wanted. Then he looked Rin in the eye. He broke into run, simultaneously shoveling all the leftover cotton candy down his throat.

Rin gasped. "Ni-Nitori! Stop!" He looked between the running boy and his friends. Makoto was laughing, and Haru was enjoying the cotton candy too much to give off much of anything.

"You should go get him." Makoto tried to help.

Rin had hardly waited for Makoto's suggestion before he went skidding across the asphalt to catch up to the younger boy. It took a while for him to catch up, but when he did, he grabbed Nitori's shoulder, drawing him back towards him quickly.

"Okay what? What is this about?" Rin heaved out, groaning a bit.

Nitori looked up at him with a blank stare. "I told you I want to get on the Scrambler." He pointed to the line that they had somehow ended in.

"Oh, what? I don't want to do this." Rin backed through the line, then reappeared outside of the fence to continue talking to his fiance.

"But after this, you have to get on the swings with me."

"Nitori -"

"And then we can get on the merry go round."

"Ni_tori_,"

"And we still have to play the arcade games!" He was doing that jittery thing again. "This is so fun!"

"Dude seriously." Rin placed a hand on his shoulder again. "Calm down, are you alright?"

"Y'know what's funny, senpai?" Nitori asked, looking in Rin's direction but never _at_ him.

"What?" Rin was a bit nervous, and a bit uncertain.

Nitori smiled quickly. "Kou asked me the same thing! She was so sure that there was something wrong with me earlier today!"

Rin narrowed his eyes somewhat. "And did you tell her? _Is_ there something wrong?"

Nitori's smile was still present on his face, but it had faded a bit. "Senpai, we're friends, right?" He asked, holding his hand out vacantly.

Rin stared at the hand for a while, then quickly looked away. "I don't know. Maybe."

Both his hand, and his smile dropped as Nitori gave one short nod. "I thought so."

Ahead of them, the ride was pulling to a stop.

Nitori leaned forward, rocking on his heels. "This is for business, isn't it?"

"What?"

He turned to look Rin in the eye. "You agreed to the marriage – business and family, right?"

Rin nodded absently. "Yeah?"

"Right!" Nitori piped up with a smile.

"Why?" Rin asked, suddenly feeling less comfortable with Nitori than he thought he had grown to be. "Why are you asking?"

Nitori laughed, lifting his left leg and balancing on his right for a few seconds. "I have plans to make myself vomit!" He grinned, slashing his cotton candy through the air before growing quiet. "Why would you expect me to make sense?"

"I guess so, but -"

"Forget it." Nitori waved him off, moving with the line as he went through the fences toward the ride that he had been waiting for as he shouted back:

"We aren't even friends!"


	13. The Decision

Nitori had some decisions to make, and some things to say. He just had to figure out how to say them, was all. And if his decisions were really, totally, you know, decided. But he was pretty sure that they were, and he needed to get them out before he started doubting himself again.

"Hey, what's up?"

Nitori glanced up from his hands crossed in his lap. "Nothing." He quickly said – purely out of reflex by this point.

Rin had his arms crossed over the edge of the pool, looking out at his fiance before turning back to the water. "You didn't happen to get my time, did you?"

He blinked. "No? What? Is that something I'm supposed to do?"

"You're not _supposed_ to. Just," Rin shrugged, rolling his eyes. "You know."

Nitori stared at him. "Um, I don't want to."

"That's fine."

"Alright." He was still staring.

Rin blinked this time. "And you said nothing was wrong, right?"

"Right." Nitori nodded. Still staring.

"You're sure?"

"Why do you ask?"

Rin jolted a bit at his directness, still not looking at him. "I don't know." He rolled his shoulders. "Conversation seems a little... dead."

"Mhm." Nitori nodded, eyes still locked on him. "Got some things on my mind."

"Well, you wanna...?"

"Hm?"

Rin groaned, looking down at the concrete ledge beneath his arms. "You wanna like, talk about it? And stuff?"

"Well of course I want to talk about it." Nitori agreed, _still_ staring.

"Okay." Rin was still looking away. "So?"

"Oh!" Nitori blinked for the first time in the last minute. "You mean now!"

"It was kind of implied."

He kept watching Rin for a second, then sighed. "Yeah, I should get it over with."

"Well don't sound so _glum_ about it." Rin tried to smile as he pulled himself out of the pool. "What is it?"

Nitori stared at Rin. Rin stared back. He needed a moment before he could begin.

It was a while before he could finally stammer something out. "So Haru is pretty cool, isn't he?"

Rin furrowed his brows, laughing lightly. "You looked so serious because you think Haru is _cool_?"

"N-no!"

"He's not cool at all!" Rin continued laughing, placing his arms behind him. "He's got a water fetish, and a mackerel obsession. He's the opposite of cool."

"Really?" Nitori's eyes widened in shock. Then he shook his head. "No, that is _not_ what this is about."

"Then what?" Rin leaned forward, smiling gently and lowering his lids a bit. "What is it, huh?"

Nitori really, _really_ liked it when Rin made that face. It was a _really_ good face to make. It was like, the face he made when he was finally relaxed, and he felt good around someone. It was his 'I'm totally here' face. Nitori needed to say it now. He wished that it wouldn't take that smile off of his face.

"You really like Haru, don't you?"

"Well, yeah?" His smile hadn't dropped. He was tapping at Nitori's shin absently. He didn't understand. "I've bothered knowing him all these years – I think I do."

Nitori hummed quietly, looking down at the hand. "No, I mean, you really like Haru."

"Uh-huh." Rin nodded, his tapping slowing, but still not ceasing. "We've covered this."

The humming turned into a groan as he grabbed Rin's hand, then quickly dropped it. "You _like_ Haru. As in, more than you like me."

This time Rin's smile dropped, and his eyes snapped up to look at Nitori at last. His lips were tight. He didn't say anything.

_Stop being so sweet. Please stop being so nice to me._ "And, I think, I think he's the coolest person ever! It's no surprise to me that you like him so much – he... he's really got that appeal to him."

"What?" Rin shook his head. "What are you saying?"

Nitori groaned again, hunching down and putting his hands behind his head. "I mean to say – I think, you _really_ like Haru. As in, you love him."

"I love him?"

"Yeah, I figured." He couldn't look up. "And – and you can't help it! But I'm only a little jealous. He's got so much to offer you, really, he does."

"Nitori, what are you-"

"You're pretty cool too, you know!" Nitori giggled. He wouldn't look at him. "You're so nice, even though you seem standoffish sometimes. You're super smart, and supportive in your own way, and Kou thinks you're the best big brother she could ever ask for."

"No, I-"

"You know how I told you Haru was pretty? As long as I'm being honest here – I think you're kinda pretty too!" Nitori sighed. "Having you around has been good for me, I think. You made me... I think you gave me a personality for once." His laugh was growing bitter.

Rin decided to stop trying.

His nervous humming resumed. "But me, senpai? I don't really bring much to the table for you. You've already got such good friends, and they bring out a better side of you. And you're already in love with someone, so you aren't missing that either. Every position I could fill is already full!"

His tone was starting to make Rin bristle. "Hey, don't talk about -!"

"I'm not trying to speak poorly of myself." Nitori finally breathed out. "I'm just trying to say that I don't give you anything new. I'm kind of just extra baggage. I'm not useless, I'm just not necessary to you, is all."

"But you... you're not..." He'd drawn his hand back.

"And I want you to be happy. So I shouldn't get in the way."

"In the way?"

"You already love somebody!" Nitor's head bobbed as he rubbed at his neck. "Marrying me just complicates things for you. It's probably worse that you were even nice enough to let me hang around you and your friends. He might get the wrong idea, don't you think?"

Guilty as charged. Rin _had_ thought about that.

He gave a deep sigh. "My presence is causing all sorts of problems, and not giving you enough solutions!'

"That's not true." Rin was finally determined to get a full thought in. "You're my – I like you. We're good. I think we are good together."

"Thank you for thinking that." He wouldn't look up. "But we are together for only one reason. We are not friends. I'm here to help you save your business."

"It's not my business."

"It's your dad's!" Nitori piped out. "Your dad was probably a really nice guy."

"What?"

Nitori finally looked up, but only to stare at the ceiling. "My parents liked him a lot. They practically jumped at the chance to help his company out in any way they could."

Rin narrowed his eyes, now unable to tear his eyes from his fiance. "They... they did?"

"Mhm." Nitori shrugged. "They'd probably have done it without any compensation, too, if your mother wasn't so insistent on not taking a favour that big."

Rin was shocked into silence.

"Yeah, I was unnecessary from the beginning." He breathed heavily. "I wish I hadn't fallen for you. That wasn't part of my plan at all."

"Nitori?"

He leaned back on his elbows. "Since I'm still talking – I'm in love with you." He smiled up at the ceiling. "I fell in love with you _so_ hard, senpai. It isn't fair."

Rin had a _lot_ of things to think about right then. He knew he did. But at that moment, all he could process was that Nitori loved him. Nitori was in love with him, and he said it. He had been the first to say it.

"But you're busy with someone else!" He heaved out, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. "So this is a waste of our time."

Everything was starting to crash down on him at once. He hadn't been required to marry Nitori from the beginning. Nitori's parents would have helped them anyway. Nitori loved him. Nitori knew that he loved Haru. Nitori thought he was an unnecessary, waste of time. Nitori thought that they weren't friends. Nitori believed that he was just there for business.

Nitori huffed, rolling his neck as he finally looked at Rin. Rin was too focused on the concrete beneath them to notice. "In all honesty, I've been babbling this whole time in hopes that you'd confess to me. You'd realise your feelings at last! You would forget all about Haru, and run away with me into happiness."

Rin couldn't speak.

"Stupid, right?"

He couldn't speak.

"Are you okay?" Nitori leaned forward. He placed a hand on Rin's shoulder. "Hey, Rin?"

"What? Yeah. What?" Rin looked up. Their eyes finally met.

Rin's eyes were vacant. Nitori's were icy again.

"Just making sure you can speak before I drop more bombs on you." Nitori smiled.

"There's more?" Rin asked. He sounded exhausted. He was tired of having to figure things out.

"Of course there is!" Nitori's grin widened. "But how about this – if you've got anything you want to ask me, go ahead. Now is the time."

He knew what he wanted to ask. _Why do you think I love Haru?_

"How did you know that I love Haru?"

That wasn't what he meant to say.

His words were confirming Nitori's thoughts. "The way you act around him. You're so natural with him and all – and whenever he says something nice to you, you get this bright look on your face. It's such a nice look; it's one that I could never get out of you. You'd talk about him so often and, well, everything about him just makes you so happy, I guess!" Nitori chuckled. "It's cute."

How was he being so calm about this? Why was he so alright with confronting him like this?

"Anything else?"

"Do you like me?"

"I _love_ you."

"Then why are you doing this?" Rin shook his head. "Can I ask you that?"

"Two reasons!" Nitori held up two fingers, like he'd prepared his answers in advance. "One, because I want you and Haru to at least have a chance. He doesn't seem like the type to go for a guy who's already betrothed."

Rin nodded. That made sense, right? If it made sense, then why didn't he feel okay with it?"

"And two – I'm sorry, but I've got no business chasing someone who's already smitten. Because I don't want to ruin your chances, but also, I should probably get over you. It's better for both of us."

That really hurt his feelings. If Nitori loved him, why did he need to get over him at all? Like, yeah, he had completely explained why he needed to get over him. But, but it wasn't fair, was it? It wasn't fair that Nitori could just _opt_ to get over him..!

But wasn't it kind of sick to expect him to chase him forever? Nitori had the right to love someone that would love him back, didn't he? That's exactly what he was trying to say.

Why did it even matter? He loved Haru. He should have been happy.

"Is that all?" Nitori itched to get on with the conversation, still staring into Rin.

Rin nodded. He wasn't thinking.

"One last thing, I promise."

"Okay." Rin whispered.

"Rin," Nitori held his breath., blinking slowly. "Do you love me?"

Nitori had thought about how to ask this. _Do you love me at all? Do you even love me a little bit?_ It had come out differently than he planned. But somewhere over the course of this conversation, he reasoned that it didn't matter whether Rin loved him _a little_ or _at all_. He wanted his whole heart, or it wouldn't be worth anything.

Rin's eyes widened. He stared at his fiance.

Nitori waited. He waited a minute, then two. Three. Three and a half.

Rin said nothing.

He breathed out. "Yeah, I figured."

"You?"

Nitori held a hand up to stop him as he stood up. "I just think -" He paused, shaking his head. "My thoughts aren't _just_ anything. A marriage is between two people. My thoughts matter too, right?"

"They _do_." Rin said it like it was the most obvious thing, but in reality, he didn't think about it. He'd never considered Nitori's thoughts, not once.

"Right, so, I think that if you ask if someone _loves_ someone – then they should know." Nitori nodded to himself. "It's a hard question, but I think that you know when you do. And you had nothing to say. So, no, you don't."

Of course he loved him. That was the first thought that crossed his mind. Of _course_ he loved him. But he had to think – he had to think because he was doubting himself again. It wasn't Nitori that he was doubting, it was how he felt about Haru. Because, if he loved Nitori, then he couldn't love them both at the same time, could he? But his mind was already so sure of his choice when he didn't try to think about it, so wasn't _that_ the reality?

He'd loved Haru too long to understand. He loved Nitori too much to understand.

His fiance shrugged. "I should go."

"Go? Where?"

"I dunno! Somewhere not here, though. I should get away from you, before I get all moody." Nitori laughed. "I'm an ugly crier, just ask Kou."

Rin shook his head. "I'd rather – I want to be... I want..."

Nitori leaned down and plopped his hand down on Rin's head, the way that he'd started doing just a week ago. "I'm gonna go – but I'll take your time later, okay? You better swim fast, too."

"But..." Rin tried to grab for the hand, but he moved it away all too quickly. "You're – you're just going?"

Nitori nodded, his enchanting smile back on his face. "Mhm. I'll see you later. Good luck, though, with Haru."

He nodded. Why was he nodding? This wasn't what he wanted at all.

Nitori was gone. He was alone.

Rin knew what it felt like to be loved by someone. But he'd never realised that he didn't know how it felt to love someone else.

He knew, now. He figured it out, just in time for love to walk out on him.


	14. The Aftermath

"I'm disappointed. I don't want to talk to you." Gou had slammed his bedroom door open, and just as quickly slammed it shut. She called to him through the closed door. "It was supposed to be love."

_What?_

Rin wasn't even fully _conscious_. Yes, it was almost noon, but he was pretty sure that he'd just suffered a breakup with his fiance the day before. Even though they couldn't really _break up_, it still hurt. He still had a heavy heart, and a murky mind. What was Gou on about already?

He kicked his feet off of the bed. _What was it?_

Rin tossed a sweatshirt on, flinging the door open again. It slammed into the wall behind him, but he couldn't be bothered to flinch. He was in a bad mood. He didn't plan to bathe today, or brush his teeth, or leave the house. They were all lucky that he was leaving his room.

He trudged down the stairs and into the sitting room. His mother was there, poring over a small book of crossword puzzles.

For the love of all that was holy, he just wanted to get past her. No 'good morning', no pleasant conversation, none of that. He didn't want it. He wanted to be left alone. He wanted cold pizza for breakfast.

Karin wasn't looking for a conversation either. She never bothered to look up from her book – in fact, she penciled in an answer as she finally spoke.

"Wedding's off."

Rin halted his trudge to the kitchen, turning back. "What was that?"

"Wedding." She repeated, filling in a few more blocks, then immediately erasing what she wrote down. "It's off. Not happening."

His head was racing. "What does that mean? What are you talking about?"

She gnawed at the eraser, eyes skimming from the clues to the puzzle. "It _means_, you're not marrying Ai anymore. The wedding is off."

What would he ask first? He had a lot to ask.

"But the company -"

He shouldn't have asked that one. His mother put the pencil down. She finally looked at him.

"The company will be _fine_. Is that really it? Is that really what you want to know?"

"Mom?"

"Because, what I want to know? I want to know just what you did to that boy to make him leave."

"What I _did_?"

"Yes!" His mother seethed. "Why did he leave, Rin?"

And now he was on the defensive. "Why does it have to be something that _I_ did? What if – isn't it possible that he -"

"No!" She was angry.

"Why?!" He wasn't any less upset.

"Because he loved you!" She spat that out. It wasn't meant to be deep, or a revelation. She said it like it was common sense. It probably was.

The fact that even _she_ could say it made Rin feel weird. It made him feel almost, maybe, a little broken inside.

"Why did everyone know but me?"

"Because you're not capable of focusing on more than one thing at a time." She threw her head back, closing her eyes. "_Everybody_ knew, Rin."

He sighed, sagging down a bit. "Couldn't someone have told me?"

"We could've. But what would be the good in that?"

"Then at _least_ I would've..."

She turned her head to look at him. "What would you have done, Rin?"

"I don't know." He shook his head, walking over to her. "I don't know."

"Rin, what happened."

"I don't think I..." He glanced around. "This is going to sound weird."

She sighed. "You just lost your fiance, any answer is better than none."

Rin smiled sadly. "Then, I don't think I loved him right." He paused. "Or at all."

"You can't force that." She tapped her fingers along her knees. "But if that's really what happened, then why are you glum about it? You're _free_ again, aren't you?"

"Um." Rin looked down to the floor. "Then, instead I can say, I think, I didn't love him in time."

It took his mother maybe a second to understand what he meant. She reached her hands up, placing them on his shoulders. "Oh, baby."

"Did you know that I'm stupid?"

"Kind of. In your own way."

"I'm sad, and I don't know what to do." He bent towards her, staring at her lap.

She placed her hands on either side of his face, then. "Come on sweetie, look at me."

He did not protest, finally looking at the face that mimicked his own.

"This isn't business anymore." She smiled at him gently. "Now it's about you and – mostly – Ai."

"So?"

"So start off easy. Deal with the problems that you can."

"And then?"

"Then you tackle the big guy." Her eyes widened. She started to laugh. "He's not big."

"He's not."

"At all. He's tiny." She was laughing harder.

Rin finally cracked a smile. "He is very small."

"And still the biggest issue you have!"

"Hey, mom, can I -"

"Whatever, you big baby." She rolled her eyes, pulling him into her lap. "You're like six feet tall."

"And?"

"You're too big for this."

"I'm a baby."

"A stupid baby."

"I know."


	15. The Breakup

_Start off easy. Deal with the problems that you can_.

He had called Nakamura into the living room.

"What do you need, Rin?" The adviser asked, feeling a little antsy that he was needed for something not directly related to business.

The younger boy fiddled with his thumbs distractedly. "Advice."

"About?"

"My marriage."

Chiaki Nakamura did not know what to feel about this. He stared at Rin dumbly. "I've never been married. I don't think I can help you."

"Mom told me to start off easy. And, I think Haru is a good place to start."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Because, like, he's accessible, and I already know what I _have_ to do about him."

"I could have sworn that your marriage wasn't even happening anymore."

"So, Haru, right?" Rin looked up at his adviser, hoping to be... advised.

Nakamura narrowed his eyes at Rin. "I literally don't know what's happening."

"Chiaki _please_."

"You using my first name does _not_ change the fact that I am confused." But he sighed, rolling his eyes anyway, "Yes. I don't know what you're planning to do, but you seem to have your heart set on Haru."

"Not anymore, I don't!"

"What?"

"Hey, Chiaki?" Rin began pacing back and forth. "How do you break up with someone? And over the phone, at that."

Nakamura was squinting again. "Huh? You're breaking up with someone? Are you breaking up with Haru or, or are you breaking up with someone _for_ Haru?" He paused. "Since when were you even in a relationship?"

"Well, see, that's the thing. I'm not. In a relationship. With anyone."

"Then... who are you breaking up with?"

"Haru."

"Were you and Haru a, a thing? Is that a thing? I thought you said you weren't in a relationship."

"Right, so that brings me to question number three." Rin stopped pacing, nodding to himself. "How do you break up with someone that you never even dated?"

By this point, Nakamura had closed his eyes and his mouth was slightly open as he tried to wade through all of the information. "So, you're trying to figure out how to break up with Haru over the phone – someone that you never even dated – and you want my help?"

"Yes."

"This isn't going to make anymore sense to me, is it?"

"No."

Nakamura sighed, opening his eyes with a shrug. "You don't breakup over the phone."

"What?" It was Rin's turn to be confused.

Nakamura was backing through the door by then. "You don't breakup with someone over the phone. It's classless, and hurtful. Don't do that."

"I should go see him?"

"Go see him."

"But, see, I don't know if I'm ready for face to face, direct contact yet."

"Then are you sure you're ready to breakup with him?"

"Yeah?"

Nakamura didn't say anything else. His stare bore holes into Rin.

"I should go see him, shouldn't I?"

"Yes." Nakamura confirmed, then quickly slid out of the room without another word.

Rin hesitated for just a second, then worried that he might lose his backbone. He grabbed his phone, and opened his contacts, placing the call.

"Rin?"

"Haru. I need to see you. In like ten minutes. Bring Makoto."

"What?"

"Just do it, I'm telling you."

"Where are we supposed to meet you?"

"I don't know – I don't care. Just bring _yourself_, and bring _Makoto_."

"...Alright."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye?"

Rin was the first to hang up.

- - -

It was a really lame way to think, but he felt like he was in an old cowboy movie. Between himself and Haru with Makoto was a wide stretch of grass. He was ready to yell 'draw' and start shooting at any second. They were at the local park.

They'd been staring at each other for like a full minute, because Rin looked as though he was midstride, coming towards them – but he hadn't moved an inch. He was frozen in place. Makoto and Haru were not sure that they were supposed to approach him. But in the end, they had to walk to him. He wouldn't move. They wanted to know why they were here.

"Rin, are you alright?" Makoto asked instantly, concern splayed across his face.

"Yeah, totally, I'm totally fine, what?" Rin wiped his hands on his shirt. He was sweating so bad, oh man. "Fine, totally yeah what? Yeah."

"You don't seem fine." Haru commented.

Rin stared at Haru. What? Oh god. What? Was this even happening. Oh my god.

"Hope I didn't interrupt your Saturday too bad." Rin squeezed out, looking between the two of them. "You guys had any plans?"

Makoto tilted his head to the side. "Well, yeah, but... you're sure you're fine?"

"I wanna – can I borrow Haru for a second?"

"Why are you asking his permission to borrow me?"

Rin was still only asking Makoto.

"U-uh sure? If Haru is okay with it." The tall boy finally jumbled out, really, _really_ confused.

"Right." Rin grabbed Haru's hand, pulling him towards a bench a few metres away. He was totally holding Haru's hand. He had imagined that this moment would feel more fantastic to him. More fireworks. But it just felt like his sweaty palm, holding onto Haru's cold one.

"What are you doing?" Haru asked, letting Rin pull him along.

"I gotta talk to you about some things." Rin blurted out, hiding the both of them behind a tree. "In private."

Haru blinked. "Okay? Is this good enough?"

"Mhm, yeah, okay, listen."

"..."

"..."

"I'm listening?"

"I know you are." Rin heaved a breath in, then blew all the air from his body. "Haru, I am so sorry, but I simply am not in love with you."

Haru didn't even looked shocked. His snark was immediate. "I am so brokenhearted."

Rin groaned. "No, _seriously_."

"So, was there ever a point in time that you _were_ in love with me?"

Oh no. He wasn't ready for this sort of confrontation. Haru was probably taking this as a joke. Well, not a joke, but this probably was not as serious to him as it was to Rin. That was a big question.

Surprisingly, he knew the answer.

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh?"

Rin reached up to rub his neck, looking to the side. "I think I was – no, I _am_, really determined to catch up to you, and keep up with you. It's admiration, and a little bit of envy, I think. I thought I was in love with you – like you were my daunting challenge or whatever."

"Hm." Was all that Haru would be bothered to say. He raised his eyebrows a bit. He should have been more surprised by this.

"So, I've been _pining_ after you all this time, and I might have screwed up big time over you."

Haru nodded slowly. "That sucks."

Rin narrowed his eyes. "Okay are you – is any of this even remotely shocking to you?"

"Of course it is."

"Well you're..." Rin shook his head. "You are being extremely calm about this."

Haru just shrugged. "How did you expect me to act? I don't have a reason to be angry or upset about it. And besides, you already said that you never even really felt that way about me, so?"

Rin stared. Then slowly, he nodded. What else _did_ he expect from Haru? He was Haru. Being the cool and collected guy was a main part of his character type.

"I mean, the only thing I'm worried about is – uh," Haru averted his eyes, finally showing some sort of nervousness. "We're still going to be friends, right? Even if you don't think you love me?"

Rin furrowed his brows. "Well, duh."

"Okay, then it's whatever."

"It's whatever?" Rin repeated, feeling a smile crack onto his face.

"Yeah?"

And before he could stop it, Rin was laughing as hard as he could ever remember. He'd doubled over, hands on his knees trying to steady himself as each laugh escaped his mouth, and flooded the park.

"You are so loud."

"Haru, hey, Haru?" Rin tried to quiet his laughter as he placed his hands on Haruka's shoulders.

"What is it?"

"I just want you to know, you are _actually_ my best friend." Rin continued laughing as he pulled Haru into a tight hug, just about refusing to let him go.

He couldn't see it, but Haruka Nanase was totally blushing, and very, _very_ satisfied with that comment. He finally looked shocked, and Rin missed it. He was too busy with his face buried into Haru's shoulder, laughing until tears flowed from his eyes. Or maybe, crying because he was relieved, and laughing to make sure Haru would know that they were happy tears.

Either way, Rin felt good. He felt free. He was happy that he started with Haru.

"I used to want to kiss you, like, all the time." Rin mumbled, refusing to let Haru escape his grip.

Haru wriggled around in his grasp. "Okay then."

"Oh man. Oh _man_." Rin pulled up to look Haru in the eyes, still grinning and tears streaking his face. "I was so dumb."

"You still kind of are."

"I _knoooow_." Rin nodded. "Everyone keeps telling me. Why did no one warn me sooner?"

Haru shrugged, unwrapping Rin's arms from around him. "It wasn't our job to tell you. Why should we?"

"_Because_, you would have saved me an assload of trouble, dick." Rin shouted as he ruffled Haru's hair.

"So now what?" The shorter boy asked, glancing up at Rin from under his hand.

"Mmmm..." Rin thought to himself, taking his hand back. "I got some business to take care of."

"And that business _is_ Ai, right?" Haru asked – totally deadpan. Completely without emotion.

Rin jolted at the mention of his name. "W-well, _yeah_, I _guess_."

"Right." Haru nodded stiffly. "Good."

"What would you have done if it _wasn't_ him?"

Haru tilted his head to the side, his face blank. "I would have told you to _make_ him your business."

"Oh." Rin was terrified. "Let's leave."

Haru took the lead as they forged their way back over to Makoto. Who had found himself the center of attention of like, three kittens that no one had ever seen before. Where did those kittens come from.

"Hey, we're ready." Haru called over to him. "Let's go."

"We – we're going?" Makoto asked, stepping out of his makeshift kitten pile.

"Yup." Haru nodded quickly, finally stepping up to him. "Let's go."

Makoto sighed. "Was this one of those things where you asked me to come along, but I actually served no purpose?"

Rin didn't want him to feel _bad_. "Well, I wouldn't say you served _no_ purpose -"

"Yes." Haru corrected him.

"Yes." Rin nodded sadly, backing him up.

"_Haru_." Makoto whined, sagging. "You can't keep doing this to me. One of these days I might -"

Haru placed a hand on Makoto's arm, and the other boy silenced instantly. "Thank you very much for coming anyway. You make me feel better."

His words instantly put Makoto in a better mood, and he was practically glowing. "Fine, it's fine. But we should go do something after this."

"Rin can't come." Haru quickly added.

"Hm? Really?"

"Yeah..." Rin eyed them. "I got something to deal with right now."

"Oh." Makoto seemed disapponted.

Haru stood closer to Makoto, demanding his attention. "But it's fine. We can still do something together."

Makoto nodded. "Right, of course!"

It was about there that Rin stopped paying attention to what they were saying, and more attention to _them_. It was what Haru had done, when he first met Ai. Because, of course, he had seen Makoto and Haru before. He'd known them _most_ of his life. But he was stupid, and he'd never taking the time to notice even what he already knew. Like, he _knew_ that Haru would bring Makoto to a double date. He _knew_ that if Haru was ever missing, Makoto was the one to call. He _knew_ that Haru always wanted Makoto around whenever he wanted to feel more comfortable. He knew all of that, but he was too blinded by his obscure 'crush' to really realise it. He never had a chance with Haru, did he?

"Rin?" Haru asked, trying to snap him out of his daze.

"Huh? Oh, what?" He replied, finally focusing his eyes on them. The two of them. Together.

"We're gonna go now, okay?" Makoto asked, looking somewhat concerned or his friend.

Rin nodded. "Yeah, alright. I gotta go anyway."

"See you!" Makoto grinned, turning Haru with him as they moved to go.

"Haru! Wait! One more thing!" Rin called over immediately.

Haru stopped, turning on his heels to meet Rin's gaze. He didn't ask.

"It's Makoto, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah." Haru responded easily, tilting his head to the side again. "It's Ai, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah." Rin replied – to his shock, just as easily and quickly.

Haru turned, and he walked off with Makoto, bumping into the taller boy's side slightly as they walked along.

Rin had... answered without thinking. Because he didn't _have_ to think about it. He already knew his answer. He trusted his gut.

Beause, it _was_ Ai, wasn't it?


	16. The Note

Rin rang the doorbell an ungodly number of times, tapping his foot worriedly as he did so. Like, were they avoiding him now? Was the entire Nitori family in on this? Did they all decide to hate him at once? He broke their little boy's heart. They probably did. They probably -

Mrs. Nitori opened the door on the 42nd ring that had taken place in the last five seconds – the amount of time it had taken her to get down the stairs. There was no intentional ignoring. Rin had, totally, psyched himself out.

"Rin?" The woman looked slightly confused for a second before her face lit up. "Rin! Come in, come on."

Rin stepped robotically into the house as the woman backed away from the door. But she was so smiley, and just seemed so _happy_, that Rin couldn't stop his tension from melting away.

"Hello, Mrs. Nitori! How are you? How've you been?"

She dropped her hands behind her back, locking her fingers. "Well. I've been well. But, I have to say, it's Ai that I'm worried about. That's why I'm so happy to see you." She paused. "Not that I wouldn't be happy to see you otherwise!"

Rin smiled weakly at her. "No, I understand. But he – is he okay?"

"He's _okay_, he's just a little sad is all." She sighed, brushing a strand of silver hair from her face. "He really brightens our day; seeing him so dank is putting a damper on all of us."

"Do you, um," Rin cleared his throat, trying to find the _least_ embarrassing way to pose this question. "Do you have, er, any idea as to _why_ he's so sad?"

She nodded quickly. "Oh, I'm near certain it's about the marriage. The only thing that gets me, though, is why he's so glum, even though he's the one who called it off!"

Confirmation that Nitori himself had put an end to his marriage. It was his choice alone.

"That's why," She continued. "That's why I'm hoping that you can do something to make him feel better. He just seemed..." she hesitated, smiling to herself for a second. "He seemed even happier than usual when he was with you. I'm hoping you can get him back to normal."

Rin eyed her for a moment, and as he soaked her in, he confirmed in his head that, yeah, coming here was the right choice too.

"Where is he?"

Mrs. Nitori pointed in the direction of a doorway. "Oh he's just down that -"

And as if some cruel author of their future was determined to advance their plot a little quicker, Aiichirou Nitori appeared in that doorway with an arm cradling an entire liter of soda, and a bag of potato chips dangling from his mouth. He stared in horror, first at the accusatory finger of his pointing mother. Second, at his ex-fiance, who was standing in his house, chatting it up with his mom like it was no big deal. He had been saying something before he was shocked.

"Hey mom, who was at the doo-"

True fear (and maybe some repugnance) casted across his face. The potato chips fell from his mouth. He dropped the soda in an instant. He was screaming. He was screaming, and running. He was up the stairs so quickly. How did this happen so fast.

Rin did not notice that he had resorted to a slightly dulled down scream himself. He had opened his mouth to say 'hey' – or some variant – but it was drowned out by Nitori's own shouts, and he watched, mouth still open and carrying a long 'heeeee-' as he watched the boy bolt off.

Mrs. Nitori put her hand down. "So, that happened."

"I should – uh – I should maybe -"

"His room is the third door on the right."

Rin was very happy that she had cut him off. Because really, he couldn't be sure if he was going to say that he should maybe go get him, or that he should maybe leave for good. So she pushed him (literally) in the right direction, and before he could even _think_ about it, Rin was already at the top of the stairs.

His feet felt like lead, and that's why he felt stronger with every step he took. He would _not_ let anything stop him. Nothing. At all. Nothing. Not even his own fear. He wasn't even scared. Or maybe he was. Yes he was. He so was. He totally ran away. He was scared.

Luckily, by the time he realised it, he was already knocking on the door.

He was answered with silence.

He knocked more. More silence. He knocked a_gain_. No answer. He resorted to rapid, panicky knocks. Maddening, to the point that he finally received an answer.

"_What_? What _is_ it?" He finally growled through the door.

Growled. That's like, Rin's thing. Aiichirou Nitori wasn't supposed to growl. Rin was so scared.

"...Hey." He said awkwardly.

"I think you should leave." He muttered.

Rin didn't speak.

"You should really go."

The older boy gave a deep sigh. "It's just good to hear your voice."

"You can't say things like that!" Nitori yelled. "We – we broke up."

"Well, technically you broke up with me." He muttered, leaning against the door.

"Stop."

"Uh, can I come in?" Rin asked.

"No! What part of _leave_ do you not get?" He sounded tired.

Rin tossed his head back into the door, groaning. "What do I have to do to get you to have a real conversation with me?"

Nitori was silent.

Rin stormed down the hall, back to the top of the stairs. "Mrs. Nitori?" He shouted.

"Yes, dear?" She shouted back from the living room.

"Do you have like, a pencil and paper?"

"Why yes I do."

"Can I have some?"

"You can come down here and get it yourself."

Sass. He got it from his mother. Rin went barreling down the steps. She had the materials in hand and at the ready. She raised a brow, handing the items to him.

"Don't worry," Rin assured her. "I've got a plan."

Mrs. Nitori sighed, watching him head back upstairs. "If you say so!"

Back at Nitori;s door, Rin began scribbling something down on the page.

"What did you need that stuff for?" Nitori asked through the door.

Rin didn't respond.

"Hey! What did you need it for?" He asked again, more forceful. Then, distantly he muttered, "...Rin?"

"You don't like the silent treatment, do you?" Rin tested, clicking the pen shut.

He bent down, and slid the page under the door. This was it. The moment of truth. That note would decide his fate. Either, he would begin boiling with anger, or some positive emotion. Whatever the reaction was, it would be strong. He hoped to god he wouldn't be mad. He waited in horror, knowing that what he had written was being read.

Finally, it happened.

"What?" He heard. "_What_?"

Didn't sound good.

"What the _hell_ is this?!"

Not good, not good, so not good.

"What is this even supposed to mean? Is this even real?" He could hear Nitori pacing. "Did this just come under my door? Did this just _happen_?"

Rin was regretting it so much. He fucked up, he fucked up.

But then, the door swung open, and Nitori was practically in tears laughing as he shoved the paper back in Rin's face.

"_This_ is how you approach the situation?" He asked, out of breath. "Are you stupid?"

Rin stared for a moment, just really, _really_ happy to see his face again. They'd only been a part a couple of days but – that was a couple of days too many.

"Yes. Yes I am."

The page drifted to the floor, with one phrase scrawled across it.

_Ai Love You!_


	17. The Tissue

"What is it?" Nitori sighed, blocking the doorway. "What do you want?"

Rin averted his eyes because – holy shit – he literally had zero plan of what to do when he got there.

"Um, so, hey, uh -" Rin _kind of _had put together an idea of what he wanted to say, but he didn't want to say it in the hall. That was too public. Too open.

"Uh?" Nitori asked testily. The laughter was wearing off.

"Can I – can I come in?" Rin stared Nitori in the eyes, totally engulfed by fear at this point.

Nitori narrowed his eyes at him, because really, he wasn't sure he wanted to do that. Letting Rin into his room was probably some figurative metaphor for letting him back into his life, and really, he had _just_ gotten Rin out of his head for like, six minutes, which was a record time since he met the guy. But there was Rin, still kind of pretty, and kind of stand-offish, and he had a feeling that his will would break.

Instead he decided to bend it a little – if it was broken, he wouldn't have any will left over for the conversation that was coming up. He swung his body to open up the doorway with a huff. Like it pained him to let Rin in, when really, it had been a pain to keep him out.

Rin stepped in, grateful that he didn't have to beg.

"Make it fast." Nitori's voice clipped in a way that made Rin flinch, and forced the words to come flowing from his mouth.

"I really hope that you still like me, because I still like you." Rin blurted. "And I really, _really_ wish that you would like me again, because then you'd like me back -"

"...What?"

"What?"

"I don't understand what you're saying."

"I didn't say anything."

"UGH." Nitori groaned, slamming the door shut. "Get it together, senpai."

"Senpai!" Rin shouted. "That. Can we get past that? Can you please call me Rin? I'm pretty sure you only said it when you broke up with me and I – I'm kinda hoping for better memories to be attached to that name. Coming from your mouth."

"What are you saying."

Rin covered his face in annoyance and embarrassment. "You said that you loved me, r-right? You said that?"

Nitori stared at Rin, standing in the middle of his room with his arms locked over his face, and his head turned towards the ceiling, kind of hopping from foot to foot to get the jitters out of his system. This was a weird side of him that Nitori had never seen before. It was kind of... fun.

He shrugged. "Well, yeah, I said _that_."

"And you meant it, right?" He was balancing on his left foot, and kind of shaking, and totally unwilling to remove his arms from his face so he could steady himself

And while this was all very fun, the moment was very serious, and Nitori decided that he would not be the only one to say 'I love you' again.

"I guess."

Rin's hopping ceased, He lowered his head, as though he were going to look at Nitori, but still had his face masked.

"You guess?"

"I mean, I said it. So maybe I did mean it back then."

"But... not now?"

Nitori was silent.

"Please talk to me."

"Look, I'd rather -" Nitori was a little frustrated. "I don't want to be the only one to say anything! Because, so far – so far you're just asking me to... to confirm how I feel about _you_."

"Yeah but -"

"I mean really – _really_ – if I was in your position, I would want _me_ to know that I loved me back." Nitori groaned. "Why does it have to be about _you_."

"Well, no, I was _getting_ there -"

He held in a screech, covering his own face. "It should have been the first thing! It shouldn't be an afterthought!"

"It isn't an _afterthought _I just – I don't know how to – I need, uh..."

"You need your _ego_ stroked before you can say anything meaningful."

Rin let his arms drop. "Is that what you think?"

"Yes!" Nitori shouted.

Rin was quiet for a moment, then timidly asked a question. "Do you think I'm self-centered? Because, Chiaki told me that a long time ago."

"_Yes!_" He shouted again.

"Oh." Rin blinked, face drawing a blank, but his brain seemed to finally be on a clear track. "Then, I'm sorry. I probably wasn't nice enough."

"You were _nice_, but you just really, _really_ didn't care about me."

"I cared about you!" Rin piped. Then he corrected himself. "I _care_ about you."

"Very bad at expressing it."

"Very bad at expressing myself overall. In general, I am bad at all forms of expression and emotion."

"Except anger and annoyance."

"Okay, now you're just being critical."

"Honest!" At last, Nitori let his own arms drop. "...And maybe a little critical."

Rin sighed, happy that they could actually look at each other again.

"Rin, why are you here?" Nitori finally asked. He seemed tired.

"I was – uh. I was really hoping that we – as in, you and me," He swung his hand between the two of them, trying to illustrate his sentence. "I was hoping that we could be a thing again."

Nitori narrowed his eyes. "Why? Your dad's company is fine – I made sure that my parents still provided the compensation that -"

"Not _about_ that!" Rin spat. "It's about, uh, us. You and me. We should be a thing."

"I'm confused." Nitori tilted his head to the side. "I thought you loved Haru."

Rin sighed. "Yeah, I did too."

Nitori's face grew slightly red at that. Not an embarrassed red, an angry red. "Then why are you _here_!"

"Thought I loved Haru! Thought is the operative word! Turns out, that wasn't even actually a thing! Surprise!" Rin forced a smile, but really, he was so so _so_ scared.

"You _what_?"

Rin held his hands up. "Okay – I thought I had a crush on Haru for a _lot_ of years. Then I thought I loved him for a lot of years. But it turns out that I'm just slightly jealous and really easy to get an emotional rise out of."

"So? So what?"

"So, I'm _here_." Rin circled his hands around each other, sucking his teeth slightly. "Because I _feel things_ about _you_ as a _person_."

"Why are you accentuating those words? I don't understand."

"As in, you make me _feel_. You make me feel a certain _way_ and certain _things_ so you know – feelings."

"Are you... are you okay?" Nitori shook his head slowly. "I literally don't know what you're talking about."

"I get _likey_ feelings about you! And I get a certain sad thing going now that you're not around!" Rin screeched, tossing his hands up in the air.

Nitori folded his arms, still staring. "Your eloquence is just astounding."

"Shut up, nerd."

"Great way to reconcile our relationship!" Nitori said flatly. Sarcastically. Like the little shit he was.

"Look." Rin finally said, a hint of finality in his voice. "I _thought_ I liked Haru, but really I liked _you_, and I still really _do_ like you, and I think your face is cute and sometimes I get these thoughts about kissing it."

Nitori's eyes widened.

"Are you getting it? Are you hearing me now?"

"L-loud and clear." Nitori stuttered out, because this was actually the most direct Rin had ever been and it was kind of really nice and _really_ attractive in the most distracting way.

"Okay! So!" Rin clapped, rubbing his hands together. "Let's do this thing!"

"What? What are we doing?"

"We are getting back together. We are consummating our reconciliation." He nodded strongly.

Nitori stared at him.

Rin stared back, still rubbing his hands together.

Nitori did not drop his gaze.

Rin's hands felt dry, so he stopped rubbing them. "Wh-what is it?"

Nitori shrugged. "I mean, I never said that I wanted anything to do with you."

And that was like a slap in the face, or a punch in the gut, or a stubbed toe, or anything that would cause really intense pain that would leave you thinking about it for a couple of days. Because, holy shit, Nitori already _said_ that he loved him. He was supposed to love him, and accept it when Rin returned the feeling. That's how this stuff was _supposed_ to work. What was going on.

"I thought you loved me."

"I mean, really, if you can realise that you don't love Haru – who are you to decide that I can't realise that I don't love you?"

"But you said you loved me."

"And maybe I regret it."

"You what?"

Nitori shook his head again, arms still crossed tightly. There was no warmth. Rin realised that his eyes were still icy.

"What do you _want,_ Rin?"

"I want you to love me, because I love you."

And those words put a bit of a hitch in Nitori's throat. But he had to stay strong in this. He _had _to. He said nothing.

"Nitori, please." and Rin felt the beg coming out, the one that he had been so happy he didn't have to use earlier. He felt himself moving closer to Nitori, reaching out to him. "Please tell me you love me back."

And Rin nearly had an arm around him when Nitori backed away from him. And he felt – he really,_ really_ just _felt_ in that instant. It was a rush of emotions: there was this temporary shock and then horror and then sadness and then regret and then shame for even coming out here and then embarrassment for trying so hard and a sense of knowing that Mrs. Nitori was downstairs and that she would find out about whatever happened up here and guilt knowing that he had assumed that Nitori would love him back and a sense of dread at the idea of returning home without Nitori's love -

He felt a lot of things that he wasn't used to all at once, and really, he wanted to cry. He felt like a baby who wanted to go home to his mom, and tell her everything that happened, and just cry for a good, good long while.

And Nitori saw that, and he felt bad, but he also felt conflicted about this whole 'letting Rin have his way' deal and he was caught somewhere inbetween. So he smashed his rigid, crossed armed, stony faced, icy eyed body into Rin's – and a weird counter effect happened.

The two melted into each other. The ice in Nitori's eyes thawed immediately, and his eyes were brimming over with the water left behind, and Rin's arms were around him, and they were both shaking terribly and Rin was too scared to let go of Nitori again because he might lose him forever this time and his nails were digging into Nitori's back horribly, and Nitori's elbows of his crossed arms were kind of burrowing their way into Rin's ribcage – and neither of them cared. They were okay with that dull sort of pain. It felt better to feel something than nothing like they'd been pretending for so long.

"I've never been scared to say I love you before. This is the first time." Nitori shook his head, face buried in Rin's shirt. "I don't want to say it anymore. I don't want to feel it anymore – because it didn't work when I tried."

"It worked. I'm _telling you_ it worked." Rin tightened his grip on the younger boy, hiding his own face in Nitori's shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry. I'm so late, and I'm so sorry."

"You _should be_, stupid." Nitori laughed out, hiccuping through his tears.

Rin couldn't think of anything to say. He just wanted to hold him a little longer, just a little while.

But Nitori pulled away, keeping his head down and hiding his face. "I don't want you to be sad. But I – you kind of traumatized me a little bit. I'm... I might be too scared to love you again."

"I get that." Rin groaned, rubbing his neck. "I get that, and I'm sorry, and I'm stupid."

"I don't want us to like... not be a thing anymore." Nitori muttered nervously. His head was still down. "It's just – I can't jump into something like that. You kind of broke my heart. I ended our marriage so you could be with someone else."

"Right, right, you're so right." Rin nodded, covering his eyes again. "Totally understandable. I'm an idiot."

"We should start out somewhere way less high maintenance."

"Yep, I agree."

"As in, I'm willing to start out somewhere else again. Maybe we could actually be friends this time."

"Totally okay with that."

"So we – we're good?"

"Good."

Nitori nodded, head still bowed.

"Hey," Rin leaned towards him. "Hey, why won't you look at me?"

"I told you. I'm an ugly crier." Nitori mumbled, backing away from him again.

"No, I bet you're cute." Rin replied, grabbing onto Nitori's hand.

"I told you not to call me cute." Nitori commanded, trying to snatch his hand away.

"C'mon cutie, look at me."

Nitori hesitated for a moment, then looked up in all of his red-eyed, tear stained, snot covered glory. He was disgusting. Rin loved it.

He started to laugh. "Oh my god."

"Don't laugh at me!"

"But it's _so_ funny."

"It's not funny at all!" Nitori hissed. "I'm upset! I'm distraught! You caused me way too much _stress_ in such a short amount of time – I hate you!"

"You shouldn't say that you hate me because I am very sensitive and susceptible to your comments right now."

"This is so gross. Get me a tissue."

Rin grinned, still chuckling as he strolled across to Nitori's nightstand, grabbing the tissue box. "You're so nasty."

"Shut _up_, Rin!"

"Hey." Rin pulled a few tissues out, wiping Nitori's face down for him. "_Thank you_ for saying my name. You know, in a better mood."

"Whatever." Nitori pouted into the tissue.

Rin pulled the tissue away, leaning towards the shorter boy and pressing their lips together very quickly, and very softly.

"You are very cute, Ai."

Nitori blinked twice, eyes bouncing between Rin's face (it was the low lidded, dreamy smile one that he _really_ liked) and the tissues in his hand. He screamed.

"That's fucking _disgusting_!" He shouted, dropping his head into his hands. "I wanted a better one than that! I want better circumstances! I need a do over - this is_ bullshit_!"

"Whoa there, potty mouth."

"Holy shit!"


End file.
